I can't tell you where I was last Monday, but I know exactly what I was doing on January 28, 1996. After glumly heading in for an afternoon shift at the local movie theater in Irving, TX, I was mercifully cut loose by my kind manager — there wasn't anyone in town who wasn't going to be glued to their TV screens that night, anyway. I raced to my aunt's Super Bowl party, ate my weight in queso, and nearly lost my voice cheering on the Dallas Cowboys as they defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers at Sun Devil Stadium. To me, the Cowboys weren't just football stars; they were neighbors. I lived in Valley Ranch, where the Cowboys trained. Texas Stadium was in my hometown of Irving — at least until Jerry Jones tore it down and built a new stadium a good 45 minutes away. Now we're just known for being awful to Ahmed. Troy Aikman lived next door as a rookie. Emmitt Smith and Nate Newton jogged past my house. Michael Irvin would stop in the 7-Eleven down the street wearing a full-length fur coat.
That Super Bowl XXX victory, which capped the 'Boys dominance throughout the '90s, feels more sacred now given that the team hasn't come remotely close to repeating it, particularly this past season. The only thing that makes the memory of that night even sweeter? What happened after the game. Imagine being a teenager watching your hometown team win it all, then being treated to a super-sized episode of your favorite sitcom, Friends. Could it BE any more awesome?
Yes, today marks the 20th anniversary of "The One After the Superbowl," a two-part, post-Super Bowl episode with a typo (boo) and a slew of celebrity guest stars (yay!). It is the most watched episode of Friends. Yes, it pops up in reruns and I can always catch it on Netflix, but nothing will replace that first viewing, that night, in the glow of one last championship win. You really missed out, baby millennials.
For those who need a refresher, here's what happens.
Marcel becomes a movie star.
Ross' monkey is sold into show business, resulting in the capuchin scoring a role in an Outbreak-type movie. As this clip shows, the brush with fame goes to his little monkey head, until Joey and his powerhouse vocals intervene.
Monica and Rachel both date Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Clearly, Monica has a weakness for '90s cultural figures. In addition to hooking up with one of Hootie's Blowfish, she also steps out with Jean-Claude Van Damme after meeting him on the set of Marcel's movie. Before you judge, consider that commercial where does the splits.
Chandler makes out with Julia Roberts.
Julia Roberts and Matthew Perry were actually dating at the time. Roberts plays the now-gorgeous schoolmate Chandler once bullied. Things get hot and heavy, but it's all a ruse that culminates with Mr. Bing getting stuck in the men's room sans trousers and avec ladies' panties. Revenge, you see, is a dish best served cold and with an assist from Victoria's Secret.
Brooke Shields basically gives Joey's hand a blow job.
Shields plays a Days of Our Lives fan who believes Joey is actually his character, Dr. Drake Ramoray. Her unhinged stalker laugh is a thing of beauty.
Rachel and Monica are, like, Phoebe's bitches.
Trust Phoebe to break up a silly spat over Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Chris Isaak sings "Smelly Cat."
And becomes Phoebe's bitch as a result.
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