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Kaycee Clark is no stranger to competition, and the Big Brother and Challenge champion is setting her sights on the next best thing: the biggest sporting challenge on the planet.

“Flag football is going to be in the 2028 Olympics,” Clark, who played women’s tackle football professionally for nine years, tells Refinery29 over Zoom. “I’m kind of tiptoeing around it, but I’m going to get into the flag football world and see where that takes me. Maybe try out for the Olympics.”

Before the Games come to Los Angeles though, Clark is working on reclaiming the title of champion on MTV’s The Challenge. Billed as “Battle Of The Eras,” the new season, which premieres August 14, is the reality competition series’ 40th, and the anniversary brings 40 legends from past and present to see which Challenge era and competitor reign supreme. 

This will be the first time Clark is able to size herself up against the best of the best from throughout the show’s history, and she’s excited. “I’ve never played a game with Rachel [Robinson]. I’ve never played a game with Cara [Maria Sorbello], never played a game with Emily [Schromm]. Mark Long, Derrick [Kosinski],” Clark says. “To be able to see their game styles and how they play the game, and be in the same house as them, is really cool.”

Clark, who’s in the Era 4 team alongside other newer faces like Olivia Kaiser, Josh Martinez, Horatio Gutierrez, Jr., and Nurys Mateo, is her own winning force. She’s been in every season since joining the flagship show in Season 35. (Against last year’s no-champ roster in “Battle For A New Champion,” she appeared as a Champion during the Chaos eliminations and won.) Clark has reached a final in each of her competitive berths, including the inaugural Challenge World Championship, except for one, and won “Spies, Lies, And Allies” on her third try. And as the show celebrates its milestone, she is in the middle of relishing her own: her engagement with fellow Challenger Nany González.

Ahead Clark dishes on wedding plans, how she navigates the stresses of the Challenge house, and more on her Olympic ambitions.

Refinery29: A belated congratulations on your engagement to Nany! How’s wedding planning going? 

Kaycee Clark: We’re enjoying the engagement stage for sure. We’re thinking [a wedding] sometime maybe at the end of 2025. Honestly we’re in no rush, but we’re super excited.

Do you find it helpful to be on the same season as your significant other, or is it distracting and difficult?

I started playing the game with Nany, my first season [on “Total Madness”], and we created this relationship and this bond that we trust each other. Obviously we’re together — actually, we just hit our three-year anniversary last week — so playing this game with her and with anyone that you can absolutely trust and know that they’ll have your back makes the game so much easier. It’s stressful in [the Challenge house] so when you can have someone who feels like home, it’s everything. This is actually the second time I’ve done a show without [Nany], which is really really weird, but I would say I would rather play the game with her there. This season, I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I wish babe was here to see all of this.’ It’s always a plus when she’s around.

This is The Challenge’s biggest season ever. What was it like playing with older alums who you haven’t really competed against before? 

First of all, I’ve never been in a house with 39 other people. It’s a lot of people! And a lot of personalities and so much history within The Challenge world. I didn’t watch The Challenge before going on [the show], but now that I’ve been on for a while and have heard all the stories and everything that’s been going on throughout the years, I was excited to be playing this game with OGs that literally paved the way. 

Who surprised you the most in terms of how they were on the show or the reputation they had versus how they are in person? 

You know, I hear a lot of stories about Cara. Cara was uh, Cara was actually pretty cool. I was expecting a certain type of energy, but it was different so that was cool to see. Emily, I’ve heard, was a beast, and I’ve never played a game with her. She was really cool.

This season puts Challengers in different eras based on the season they joined the show, but most of you have relationships that extend beyond your era. How did you feel about being in Era 4 and was that something hard to navigate?

Being in Era 4 — the new kids on the block — I’m all about it. I get that they have the OGs, and it takes a lot of time for the Challenge fans to accept the newbies that come into this game from Survivor, Big Brother, Love Island. That’s understandable so I love that we are the newbies of the bunch. We also don’t have deep rooted history like the OGs do so we have a little bit of an advantage to not be stepping on each other’s toes and trying to one-up each other. [Era 4] has a Survivor champion, Big Brother champion, and Love Island champion so we’ve got different mindsets within this game but still within the same realm.

I feel like the women this season are incredible, and it almost feels more competitive than the men’s side. I would love your thoughts on that.

I love competing against the best of the best, and the women this season are stacked. Laurel [Stucky], Cara, Rachel, Tori [Deal] — there’s such a great handful of elite competitors when it comes to the women. It’s going to be a bloodbath, it’s going to be a battle. 

What’s harder: winning Big Brother or winning The Challenge?

They’re both hard in their own ways. Big Brother was longer. The Challenge is more physical of course. But they’re both mentally and emotionally very challenging. The physical part is cool, whatever, but the mental part that people don’t get to see is intense. 

What is your self-care when you’re in the Challenge house? How do you maintain your mental wellness?

To be able to stay level-headed and not freak out, I like to write and journal. Thankfully we’re able to bring a notebook in there and write our thoughts down. Also, I like to go outside first thing in the morning when everyone else is still asleep. It reminds you that you are in a game and what you’re doing this for. A lot of the time, you get so stuck in this game that it becomes your new normal. The first thing you think about is this game, and all throughout the day, 24/7 you’re thinking about this game. You go to sleep thinking about this game. As time goes on, it becomes your normal, and it’s sometimes so hard to think about the outside world so it’s really good to disconnect in that way. You don’t have a lot of privacy, you’re always mic’d up, you’ve always got cameras on you so [enjoy] the little things that you can do to remind you that it’s a game and keep your mind right.

I can imagine, you’re in this pressure cooker all the time with all these personalities that it’s hard to find your alone time too.

It’s really important to have people that you can talk to about the outside world. There’s some people you can talk to, and there’s some that you cannot. And it just really makes you feel like you’re at home. People would never understand unless they’re actually in the game.

What’s next for you? 

I’m always wanting to find that next level. Am I gonna go on another competition show? I played women’s tackle football for nine years. Flag football is going to be in the 2028 Olympics [in Los Angeles]. I’m kind of tiptoeing around it, but I’m going to get into the flag football world and see where that takes me. Maybe try out for the Olympics.

Yes to Kaycee Clark in the Olympics! I am manifesting it.

I think that’s the next best thing! Competing at a high level in The Challenge, I’m like, ‘Wow, if I can get to the Olympics…’ You never know unless you try so we’ll see.

Challenge champion and Olympian. No one else is going to have that.

See, I’m trying to get that title! I’m trying to be a three-time champ! Big Brother, The Challenge, and the Olympics.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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Even before the days of Perfumetok, we here at Refinery29 have always had a love affair with all things scent; while it’s our job to try it all, it’s also the stuff that lights up our Slack channels and sparks joy with every spritz. This is something that the founders of BROWN GIRL Jane already know, and have made part of their brand DNA from day one. Four years after launching, the brand — co-founded by sisters Malaika and Nia Jones is ready for the next step in the brand journey — and with a little help from their friends at another beloved beauty brand: Tarte, which was famously born from founder Maureen Kelly’s one-bedroom apartment in New York City.

But for every smash success story – like Kelly’s own — there are countless companies that struggle to make it — and Kelly felt inspired to do something about it, leading her to create Tarte’s Shape Your Future Awards. Last year, the first-ever Shape Your Future Awards were held, bestowing grants of $10,000 and $25,000 to a select group of recipients, in addition to business mentorship across finance, legal, PR, and marketing. (A total of $300,000 was awarded in the form of six grants of $25,000 and 15 grants of $10,000; $150,000 was contributed by Tarte, and $150,000 came from Kelly herself.) 

“[Tarte’s] Shape Your Future 2023 Grant Program was tremendously impactful as it helped us break down barriers and redefine inclusivity within the world of fragrance and beauty,” BROWN GIRL Jane co-founder and CEO Malaika Jones told Refinery29. “With less than 1% of venture capital being allocated to Black women-owned businesses, we were so honored that Tarte recognized our desire to shake up the industry and bring clean and inclusive products that bridge the gap between science and scent while celebrating the diversity of women everywhere.” To further this mission, Tarte is also getting into the incubator space with Tarte Labs, which provides entrepreneurs, creators, and artists with crucial tools to support their businesses. “Being selected for this program helped us to further grow and scale our business in a truly meaningful way by not only providing key funding for product research and development, but also invaluable mentorship and networking opportunities with dynamic Tarte executives and other Black women founders,” Jones told us.

Why is this a big deal? Because as it turns out, one-off influxes of cash — while gifted with the best intentions — rarely provide meaningful, sustainable support to brands that need it the most. (This is something that Black entrepreneur and founder of OUI The People Karen Young has been increasingly vocal about online.) For the BROWN GIRL Jane founder trio, it’s all been up from here: This year, they became the first Black woman-owned fragrance brand to enter Sephora. With the help of Tarte’s Shape Your Future award and mentorship, the brand expanded its wholesale retail business in the U.S. and launched new fragrances to the brand’s library.

And to top it all off, this win was a full-circle moment for all parties involved; “We have loved Tarte products for many years and as fellow entrepreneurs, we were inspired by the story of how Maureen grew her company from just an idea operating out of her apartment to a worldwide multi-million dollar company,” Jones added. We can’t predict the future, but if we could peer into the beauty industry’s crystal ball, it definitely would suggest that we’re about to see (and smell) a lot more BROWN GIRL Jane this year and beyond.

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Brea Baker is a writer, organizer and author of Rooted: The American Legacy of Land Theft & The Modern Movement for Black Land Ownership. In her opinion column for Unbothered, she shares perspectives on the current U.S. presidential race.

Progressives have been claiming victory since Kamala Harris announced Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate. When he was announced, I breathed a sigh of relief and became (cautiously) optimistic. As Governor, Walz signed over 40 climate initiatives into law in 2023 alone and has been a champion for clean and renewable energy since his time in Congress. He’s supported grassroots coalitions across his state and signed universal school meals into law, legalized cannabis and expunged related convictions, enshrined abortion rights, defended LGBTQ+ civil rights, and affirmed labor protections. And while Walz has stopped short of recognizing the allegations of genocide in Palestine and voted in the past to continue U.S. financial support to Israel, he has been vocal about his belief that pro-Palestinian protestors deserve to be heard and that Palestinians are facing an “intolerable” situation. The alternative was Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro who has threatened protestors’ rights to boycott, previously volunteered for the Israeli army, and has advocated for privatized education through school vouchers at the behest of billionaire funders. Considering that, it seems as if the Harris campaign is, at the very least, interested in earning the trust of young progressives who clearly care about these issues. 

The choice of Governor Walz as the Vice Presidential Democratic candidate, like the decision for Biden to step down as the nominee, has been viewed as an important win for the Uncommitted National Movement that is focused on an immediate and permanent ceasefire, an arms embargo, and an end to the long-term siege on Gaza. In dissenting to Biden’s leadership by voting uncommitted in states like Michigan, Georgia, Hawai’i, and Walz’s home state of Minnesota, this movement has reiterated what June Jordan said about Palestine being the litmus test of morality. The choice to go with Walz has been viewed as a win for young and progressive voters who first rejected a second Biden term and then said no to Shapiro. More than fifty Democratic Party leaders signed onto an open letter urging Harris not to select Shapiro while young people expressed their disdain online. As Palestinian-American activist Linda Sarsour wrote on social media, “[this choice] required listening and following the sentiment of climate justice organizers, teachers, young people, women, Arab and Muslim voters who raised valid critiques of Josh Shapiro from PA… this shows that our collective efforts have impact.”

There are other examples of the Harris campaign shifting as progressives demand more from the Democratic Party. At a rally in Detroit, a state with large Arab American and Muslim populations, protestors began chanting “we won’t vote for genocide.” Initially, Harris was polite while refusing to engage the topic of Israel-Palestine. After repeated chanting, Harris retorted, “if you want Donald Trump to win, then say that. Otherwise, I’m speaking.” Her remarks felt dismissive and didn’t convince pro-Palestine protestors that this issue was a priority for her administration. Just a few days later, Harris was again interrupted during a rally — this time in Arizona. Her response was noticeably different. “I respect your voices” she began, addressing the protestors directly. “Now is the time to get a ceasefire deal and get the hostage deal done.” Kamala Harris and her team are listening and course correcting in real time. This is in direct response to the work of organizers and shows that we don’t change the status quo by being silent. 

Outside pressure is a good thing for movements and an important aspect of civic engagement. Engaged voters don’t need to be silent about what isn’t working for them. On the contrary, feedback is a gift, invitation, and road map all in one. Praise and blind allegiance alone turns public servants into celebrities. A true democracy is strengthened through rigorous critique so that our leaders and representatives can hear directly from the people about what our society should look and feel like.  

Carmen Perez-Jordan is a civil rights and gender justice leader as well as the President and CEO of The Gathering for Justice and Founder of Justice League NYC. Due to nonprofit restrictions, Perez-Jordan can’t always work directly to get candidates elected but that doesn’t mean she can’t effect change. The inside-outside approach involves both collaborating with and pressuring politicians to incentivize a particular action. Some efforts may be more public while others happen off-the-record, but this approach recognizes that different times call for different measures. In some instances, an elected official wants to do good but needs community support to convey the urgency and address an issue meaningfully. Or perhaps elected officials have proven unwilling to take action, so direct action is used to show where true power lies and force their hand. Across Perez-Jordan’s twenty five years of organizing, she’s found the strategy to be a winning one. 

“We have to stop making assumptions that politicians or elected officials are experts in the fields we work in,” Perez-Jordan warns. Many aren’t well-versed in specific issues so they lean on community organizers to understand what is needed. “We had a well-oiled inside outside strategy,” Perez-Jordan describes when recounting Justice League NYC’s role in passing critical legislation to raise the age of when a child can be prosecuted as an adult. Her first step was leaning on something her mentor, Harry Belafonte, told her: there are no permanent friends or enemies, only permanent causes. In the case of the Raise the Age campaign, what should have been an easy win was made more difficult because of the Independent Democratic Conference (IDC) where several Democratic state senators opted to caucus with the Republican Party. The IDC had been allegedly standing in the way of progressive legislation. “We had back door, off-the-record meetings with elected officials to educate them on the criminal legal system and to learn how we could better work around the IDC,” Perez-Jordan shared. In the end, the progressive coalition won thanks in large part to this behind-the-scenes effort.

Online debates have grappled with whether the Left is capitulating to a damned system by participating in endorsing candidates or encouraging people to vote. The inside-outside approach offers something a bit less black and white. Maurice Mitchell is the National Director of the Working Families Party where he is working to establish a political home for a multiracial working class movement. Similar to Perez-Jordan, Mitchell acknowledges that elections are not the be-all and end-all of building political power but sees them as opportunities to shape the terrain of future organizing. “Voting is not a love letter or a Valentine,” Mitchell told Unbothered. “They’re building a cult, we’re building a movement.” Mitchell believes that we do a disservice by emphasizing personality and other symbolic measures. “This is about one agenda over another.” The answer to that predicament is more nuanced than most believe. “We have more options than getting in line or dropping out completely,” Mitchell asserts. 

Kamala Harris’ 2024 campaign for President looks a lot different from her 2020 push. That’s a testament to the chorus of progressive voices who made it clear any path to the White House is through the most marginalized among us. That includes Palestinians, Black people, members of the LGBTQIA community, immigrants, formerly incarcerated people, and everyone aware of the stakes. If Harris’ choices so far, including picking Walz, are any indication of what’s to come, we should expect a robust policy platform and broader coalitions where progressive leaders are empowered to continue guiding the Harris-Walz ticket. This isn’t a declaration of my faith in Harris or Walz as individuals, but rather in the people and organizers committed to holding them accountable to our shared needs. 

Elections are vehicles and there is something to be gained through them without ending the conversation at the Inauguration. Carmen Perez-Jordan knows this well having co-organized the 2017 Women’s March. On Day 1 of Trump’s administration, Perez-Jordan helped mobilize millions to the streets in resistance. She believes we should be vocal every time someone new is installed into office. “We can’t be on the sidelines,” she said. “We have to make Kamala Harris move where we need her.” We have the responsibility to speak up and set the agenda, and the Harris campaign has the responsibility to invite us in, listen, and act. “Our communities are deserving of that robust strategy,” Perez-Jordan says. “It’s life or death for us.”

If the Harris-Walz ticket wins, Maurice Mitchell is clear that there will be a fight against the corporate agenda. “We will need everyone to join organizations like the Working Families Party to be part of that fight,” Mitchell cautions. “If we lose [in November], we’ll definitely need to be and stay organized.” Either way, we should never fall asleep at the wheel. Democracy only works when we do.

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Although Rotate Birger Christensen’s show closed out the Copenhagen Fashion Week Spring 2025 season, the Danish brand’s party is far from ending. “It’s just such a great stamp of approval,” Rotate’s cofounder Jeanette Madsen tells Refinery29 about getting the coveted slot on the Copenhagen Fashion Week schedule, which resulted in a runway filled with fringed gowns, capri pants and bubble-hem skirts and a crowd of fashion influencers, international editors, and celebrities that included Pamela Anderson. The production, which was staged in collaboration with jewelry brand Pandora and makeup favorite Charlotte Tilbury, wasn’t the only label milestone this week. Days earlier, Rotate opened its first flagship store in Denmark’s capital, doors down from Scandi mainstays like Ganni, Axel Arigato, and By Malene Birger.

Rotate, which celebrated its fifth anniversary last year, has made a name for itself with its party-ready clothes and influencer cofounders. In addition to growing a massive social media presence and a strong position at retailers like Net-A-Porter and Mytheresa over the years, Rotate has collaborated with H&M on a quick-to-sell-out collaboration and reportedly made €16 million in 2023 alone. When Madsen and cofounder Thora Valdimars started Rotate in 2018, they didn’t anticipate such rapid success. “We started out with seven dresses,” Madsen says. “It has evolved like we never imagined.”

The two met 10 years ago while working at Costume magazine, a Danish fashion publication based in Copenhagen. “We were going to all these events and needed things to wear. But dresses were never short enough or sexy enough. It was a conversation that we had for a long time,” Madsen says. “We were both working moms, and we couldn’t afford all these big, beautiful designer dresses… And then we were like, ‘Should we just [fill this niche] ourselves?’” Shortly after, they were tapped by Birger Christensen Collective, which also owns Danish brands Remain Birger Christensen and Cannari, to do just that.

Now, Rotate is famous for the type of party dresses that Madsen and Valdimars felt were missing from the market, featuring a range of silhouettes — from low-cut necklines and super-short lengths to puffy sleeves and floor-length fits — in European sizes 32 to 46 (UK 2 to 16), and spanning in price from around $150 to $800. “For women, [what we want to wear] depends on what mood we’re in and how we feel about our bodies,” Valdimars says. “We have conversations with our friends, who are all types of body shapes, about what they love and don’t love about clothing when they go shopping. It’s important for us to incorporate all of that into our collections,” Valdimars says.

Although Madsen and Valdimars don’t subscribe to the typically minimalist aesthetic common to the region — they’re all about maximalism and glam — there are elements of Scandi style running through their collections. “You have the minimalist items that you then mix with something that’s super-feminine and maybe a little bit boho, and then something that’s a little bit masculine,” Valdimars says. “I think this way of mixing different genres is what makes the style so appealing to many people.”

It also lends itself well to the Scandi lifestyle, which encourages day-to-night versatility. “When you put on a Rotate dress, we want you to feel like you can jump on the bike and go… Maybe with a scarf around your bum,” says Madsen. This ethos has produced mini dresses that can be styled in various ways: with an oversized blazer and heels, layered on top of a white T-shirt with sneakers, or with a trench coat and tall boots.

This type of thinking is a new development for the brand. With occasion dresses at the brand’s core, the pandemic took a toll on Rotate. “We had to rethink where we were in the market, because all of a sudden people weren’t partying anymore, and they didn’t need dresses to go out,” Valdimars says. That’s when the brand branched out into more casual, everyday clothing. The expansion still drives the brand today: On its spring/summer 2025 runway, Rotate previewed button-up vests and billowing blouses, wide-leg jeans, and denim midi dresses — versatile pieces that can be worn to the office and for going out.

While it appears a natural progression for the brand, creating this kind of clothing was a learning curve for the team, according to the cofounders. “Every time we design a collection, it’s important for us to have that typical Rotate DNA, whether it be [through] color, detail, or style,” says Valdimars of their mindset when they started developing more casual pieces. “There’s so much everyday wear out there, so it was like, ‘How do we come in when we started off having one idea and then everything else is off the table?’” 

The answer was Rotate Sunday, a loungewear collection launched in December 2020 and consisting of logo-printed tracksuits, casual tops, and oversized shirts and trousers. When the pandemic ended and people were allowed to throw wedding ceremonies again, the brand pivoted a second time, launching Rotate Wedding in spring 2022 with statement bridal gowns, bridesmaid, and guest dresses. “That was a dream for us,” Madsen says. “I think it’s easier for Thora and I to do the wedding collection because it’s only dresses and we’re so focused on them.”

As Madsen and Valdimars look to the future, they’re excited to have a physical shop that brings customers into the Rotate universe. “Since our clothes are so vibrant, the walls around it are more Scandinavian. They’re subtler and quieter to suit each collection,” Madsen says.

“People have the perception that we would decorate it with everything pink and have a disco ball,” Valdimars adds. “And we just really wanted to move away from that perception. For us, it’s always been that the dresses should be the focal point.”

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Imagine running a marathon in slow motion or driving down the coast with the wind in your hair at 15 mph. When these things happen, we feel the universe is working against us and not with us, which creates a lot of internal frustration. We might experience similar situations because we are learning to grow our skills or advance our craft, and we are taking the necessary steps to elevate our status. Life doesn’t come easy, and we have to work towards success. There are no shortcuts.

The cosmic square on August 19 between Jupiter and Saturn is a prime example of being told to stay in our lane and, while we’re in that lane, to focus on how we can progress our abilities and utilize them in the future. When these two juxtaposing planets come together, their energies clash. Jupiter is considered the “greater benefic” and Saturn is the “lesser benefic.” Jupiter brings abundance and Saturn harbors limitations. The fraught aspect of August 19 keeps us still and unable to move forward. Think of Jupiter as a positive and Saturn as a negative; the two combined equal zero. It will be impossible for us to make waves and we might feel a tug on the inside because we are struggling to evolve and grow. Rather than dwell on the current situation, planning how we can attain our goals is imperative.

We might feel this energy in our dynamic with those in authoritative positions. For instance, we could argue with our boss, parents or landlord. In time we’ll receive the positive feedback and vibes we desire from others. Our hearts will also be full of hope and a desire to change the world. Fighting for a cause that matters without receiving anything in return is vital to our growth. If we put the hard work and effort into doing what we love most, it’ll be an endeavor worth the time and energy.  

Although we’ll have the enthusiasm to power onward, the universe is pushing us to slow down. The lesson is not to make impulsive moves. Be present in the moment. Do not force situations, relationships and matters from happening that are still in development. Understanding boundaries is essential. Try not to overstep. Opportunities come to those who wait. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in one day. So have patience with yourself. 

On the same day, Venus in Virgo tugs at Jupiter, and Saturn is retrograde. With Mercury backpedaling and the super blue moon in Aquarius, we might feel annoyance and frustration. There will be an urge to speak up and to stand our ground, even if we feel our views may be diluted or not taken seriously. Using our voices to better society can make a difference. 

This planetary setup, with Jupiter retrograde and Saturn squared off against the same signs, last happened on December 24 of last year, so similar situations may arise. The last tense aspect between Jupiter and Saturn was May 26 2016 (Jupiter was in Virgo and Saturn was in Sagittarius). However, suppose we find the exact date that these planets in these signs are connected in the same signs and degrees: Jupiter in Gemini and Saturn retrograde in Pisces. That brings us back to squared off on July 6 1965. 

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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a data scientist (on two months’ unpaid leave!) who makes $116,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on a book called My Life as A Whore: The Biography of Madam Laura Evens.

If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.

Occupation: Data scientist
Industry: Nonprofit
Age: 27
Location: Denver, Colorado
Salary: $116,000
Assets: Checking: $5,327; savings: $820; HYSA: $23,476; Roth IRA: $46,541; 401(k): $61,277; various investments (managed by Merrill Lynch): $216,220.
Debt: $0
Paycheck amount (2x/month): Typically $3,267 but since I am on unpaid leave for two months, I am receiving a stipend from the state of $2,200.
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: $1,895 for a bright and big one-bedroom in Denver. I love my apartment and living alone!
Loan payments: $0
Utilities: ~$150
Wi-fi: $48
Climbing gym: $102 (yes, I moved to Denver and became a walking cliché).
Pet insurance: $63
Renters’ insurance: $10
NYT subscription: ~$10 (news, games and food).
iCloud storage: $9
Spotify: $11
Local mutual aid organization: $17
Therapy fund for Black women: $25
Colorado abortion fund: $15
Therapy: $600 (I pay out of pocket $200 a session, which is steep, but I’ve been working with this therapist for years and I love her).
Phone: $0 (yes, I continue to mooch off my parents).
Streaming platforms: $0 (I mooch off friends and family. Sometimes I do pay for platforms but since I finished The Bear I’ve canceled my Hulu).
Health insurance: $0 (luckily my company pays).
401(k): $256 (pre-tax, employer matched).
HYSA: $300-$2,000 (this varies month to month — in the months leading up to my leave, I tried to save as much as possible. Now that I’m on leave, I’m putting aside what I can, knowing my stipend from the state is not currently taxed).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes! I grew up between Brooklyn and Westchester, New York — both affluent communities in which everyone I knew was on the college track. My parents and stepparents and grandparents and everyone else had attended college, and many had master’s or PhDs. When I was a senior in high school, I learned that my grandparents and parents had been saving for my college education since my birth but that I would still have to take out student loans. In my affluent communities, no one talked about needing to take out loans, only “dream schools” and “following your heart,” so I was really ashamed (which I now know is stupid. Financial transparency is empowering!). However, my mom worked at NYU at the time so if I went there I got a 90% discount. I was on the fence but ultimately decided to go to NYU over other private and public schools and it was the best decision my 18-year-old self ever made. Graduating without any debt, and with money that my parents had left over, has changed my life and I’m incredibly lucky to have had that option.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Going to school in Westchester, I often felt less privileged and a bit different than my peers. My mom was the breadwinner in the family and got on the train to NYC early every day with the dads, while many of my friends’ mothers were stay-at-home moms who played tennis and were involved in PTA. My friends took international vacations every year and had multiple Juicy tracksuits (tbt to 2006) but we had to ask my grandparents to help out with my flute lessons and I only ever got one Juicy tracksuit because it was on major discount at Filene’s Basement (lol). That being said, I never wanted for anything serious and am so grateful that my mom instilled the value of budgeting in me early. Starting in high school, I got a sizeable allowance ($100!) every month for doing chores but that was it; there was no asking for movie tickets or pizza money. This taught me to save for the things I wanted and I do feel like I have a better grasp on money now than many of my friends who were raised more privileged than me.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
When I was 12, I got a summer job as a counselor at a day camp in the Hamptons. I was paid $100 a week under the table but I was SO excited. My older cousin worked there and we spent the following five summers chasing after other cute counselors, going to the beach, engaging in standard teenage mischief and fighting with my grandma (who lives out there). Although I wasn’t paid great, I was able to charge an outrageous amount for babysitting ($25 an hour as a 15-year-old in 2011?!) because of the wealth in the Hamptons and therefore had plenty of money for groceries, eating out and even saving. Over the five summers I saved a few thousand dollars, which helped immensely in college.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not really. I always had food on the table, lots of clothes, and a new gadget at Hanukkah. Growing up, I knew my dad was less well-off than my mom, and I have a vague memory of him telling me he was in lots of credit card debt at one point, but somehow it didn’t concern me.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes, because I have an anxiety disorder and am currently not working but I know that I am incredibly lucky and much more financially stable than many of my peers. I am on my second week of two months of unpaid leave from my job. I have been experiencing burnout and depression for the past six-plus months and so was saving as much as I could to take this step. I am also receiving a stipend from the state of Colorado for this leave, which is awesome and unexpected, and has alleviated my immediate spending concerns a bit. But I’m unsure what will happen after my two months’ leave is up. While I’m excited for the possibility of a new job/career/life course, I’m also bracing myself for financial instability and to cut down on my spending as much as possible.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Six months after college I moved in with a roommate in NYC and became responsible for everything except healthcare and phone bills. I had a decent paying job and could cover all my expenses fairly easily. Right now, my financial safety net is myself. I have about five months of expenses in savings and much more in stocks. That being said, I could always move back in with either of my parents if I really needed to. While I love living in Denver and definitely do not want to move back to NY any time soon, it wouldn’t be the worst option and I would likely do that over liquidating my investments.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes, quite a bit and I am incredibly privileged. In college my stepgrandpa passed away, and since my stepmom had passed as well, $80,000 of his life insurance payout went to me. In addition, post-college my mom and dad gave me the remainders of their college funds for me ($40,000 and $20,000 respectively). All of this has gone into investments and remains untouched. And of course, my parents paid for my college tuition, books and housing. After many years of feeling less privileged than my peers, I realized in college just how privileged I am. I hope to take this privilege and do good with it as long as I live.

Day One

8 a.m — I wake up in my tent in the middle of the Rockies to the sound of a roaring river nearby (who needs a white noise machine?). I’m on my last day of a four-day solo camping trip. I thought I’d be more ready to go back to civilization by now but am really enjoying the peace and quiet — it’s just what I’ve needed after more than six months of depression and anxiety about work stuff. I stumble out of the tent and make instant coffee and oatmeal with my little jetpack burner before packing up site. I play Noah Kahan as I drive down the long dirt road back to civilization, alternately crying and thanking the beautiful vista for such a lovely time.

10:30 a.m. — I’m nearing the closest and also my favorite town in Colorado, Leadville, and I stop for gas. I love driving in the mountains but do have a fear I’ll run out of gas and be stranded so I always make sure I’m as close to full as possible. $22.01

11 a.m. — I’ve made it to Leadville and am in my favorite coffee shop, sipping on a mocha latte ($8.50) and journaling, people-watching and catching up on texts. Leadville used to be one of the largest mining towns in the country and it still looks vaguely like a western town out of the 1800s with one main street, a saloon called the Silver Dollar, surrounded by snow-peaked mountains. It’s breathtaking. Every time I come here I contemplate taking the plunge and moving but I’m too nervous to be two-plus hours away from a major airport, and entering a small town as a big city newcomer seems more like a recipe for disaster than a romcom. I’m craving vegetables but also a burger so I compromise by getting a pork bowl with rice, beans and avocado from the new Cuban place on Main Street ($25). Turns out being back in civilization isn’t so bad after all. $33.50

12 p.m. — Post-lunch I immediately head to the Melanzana store. A Melanzana (or Melly) is a fleece-type sweater that is super popular in Colorado, and super hard to buy. They only sell them at this one store in Leadville — no buying online — and you need an appointment. I don’t have one but luckily I’m allowed to trade in my old, stinky one without an appointment. I walk away with a fresh new Melly for myself and even score one for my dad’s birthday. He’s a lifelong New Yorker so I’m not sure how much he’ll get the ~exclusivity~ of this gift but I know he’ll enjoy how soft it is! $155

12:30 p.m. — Continue to browse Main Street with my post-Melly high. I buy a book called My Life as a Whore: The Biography of Madam Laura Evens, which is about a sex worker who made a name for herself in Leadville back in the day. I also drop into the Leadville Jewish Museum and talk to their historian about Jewish life during the mining boom. I’m not usually a history buff but there’s something about this town that really enchants me. $22

2 p.m. — Drive out of Leadville and pull into a nearby trailhead for one last spontaneous hike, because I’m not ready to go back to the city just yet. I moved to Denver about three years ago and the mountains never cease to inspire awe in me. Plus, my little terrier’s favorite thing is hiking. Even though we hiked more than 10 miles yesterday, she is ready to go again! We walk through the woods for about a mile and get to this gorgeous basin with wildflowers and snow-capped peaks. I sit on a rock and express gratitude to the mountains while my dog gets treats from other hikers. I feel so lucky to be healthy, happy (which I haven’t been for a while) and alive. I finally decide I’m ready to go back to Denver and get back to “real” life.

6 p.m. — Finally back in Denver! It’s so hot and I realize just how much I smell after four days in the woods and how dirty everything I own is. I begrudgingly unpack the car, unpack the cooler, begin one of many loads of laundry and finally finally finally get to take that long-awaited shower. Wow, feeling clean does have its perks!

12 a.m. — After many hours of scrolling and eating frozen food, I drag myself from my couch to my bed. It’s crazy how much you miss when your phone is off for three days (like Joe Biden dropping out of the presidential race!). Meme culture moves so fast that I have to read articles like “How to Explain Brat Summer and Kamala Harris to Your Parents” just to catch up. I feel old. But I finally feel the teensiest excitement about this election, so I’m considering this a win.

Daily Total: $232.51

Day Two

8 a.m. — I set my alarm for 9:30 a.m. but wake up much earlier. Spend an hour in bed scrolling. It’s not my favorite habit but honestly I’m not sure how to replace it. Get out of bed around 9:30 a.m. and water my herb garden (I’m just praying for one tomato), walk my dog for 20 minutes, and make myself coffee and honey nut Cheerios with peanut butter and blueberries. I don’t have much of a makeup/cleansing routine but I am trying to apply sunscreen more often so I slather on the Kiehl’s moisturizer with SPF 30 before these activities.

10 a.m. — Even though I’m on a leave of absence from work, I am actively trying to figure out what sparks my interest and nurture that in a sustainable, balanced way. Right now I’m taking a three-month class on AI safety so after eating breakfast I sit at my desk to start this week’s reading. Some weeks are more inspiring than others and this week I find the reading a little…lacking. I struggle through a few hours of it, interspersed with laundry, dishwashing, bill paying and a lot of social media scrolling.

3 p.m. — Whew! After being sucked into the black hole of my computer I’m exhausted. Scarf down some more frozen food (Trader Joe’s FTW) and lie down on my couch and get sooooo sleeeeeppyyyy. Midday naps are the best.

5 p.m. — Rouse myself from my warm, comfy couch and drag myself to Trader Joe’s since I’m sick of frozen food. I get lots of fruits, veggies and meat, intermixed with plenty of chips (and more frozen food). Now that I’m on leave, I’m trying to be more conscious of my grocery budget but somehow always end up spending over $100. Contemplate getting a part-time job at Trader Joe’s — everyone there seems so happy! $126.64

7 p.m. — Come back to my boyfriend, E., waiting for me at my place. We haven’t had a lot of quality time recently since I was camping and his friend was in town so tonight we’re ordering in and catching up on our shows. We walk to the nearby sushi place to pick up our order and then spontaneously get doughnuts from the shop next door. We split the bill. After devouring crunchy tuna and yellowtail sashimi we cuddle up to watch the recent episode of House of the Dragon and the season finale of The Boys. We both agree The Boys is better. E. does not think House of the Dragon needed a girl-on-girl kiss to advance the plot but I loved it because #bisexual. We debate the merits of representation for representation’s sake and both make some convincing points. $30

11 p.m. — Time for bed! I take my dog for her nightly pee, splash my face with water and brush my teeth before crawling into bed with E. and scrolling Reddit to see what the rest of the world thought of the shows.

Daily Total: $156.64

Day Three

8 a.m. — Wake up before my alarm again and snuggle with E. for a bit before taking my dog on her morning walk and watering my plants. Have a banana and a quick latte (Nespresso fans, where you at?) before heading out for a paid dog walk via Wag. It doesn’t make me much money but I genuinely enjoy meeting new fur babies, exploring different parts of Denver and snooping on people’s living situations. Today I walk an Australian shepherd named Beau, who is a bit frantic since he’s been cooped up inside the past few days because of wildfire smoke. Walking with this poor air quality is no joke; I feel like I’ve smoked a cigarette after running around outside with him for 30 minutes. I make $15 and mentally allot it to a car wash I need to get this week.

11 a.m. — Finally back home, dripping in sweat and coughing, and vow not to go outside unless it’s necessary today. Make another latte and sit down to finish up the reading for my AI safety class. An hour or so in I get hungry so whip up breakfast for E. and me. Usually I have cereal or oatmeal but today I’m feeling fancy so I make scrambled eggs with scallions and spinach on top of challah I bought from Trader Joe’s yesterday. It’s delicious.

4 p.m. — Somehow I get sucked into my computer again (and yes, I procrastinate with E. a bit, too) and the day absolutely flies by. I heat up some frozen chicken nuggets for a snack before heading out to boulder with E. and his friend W. I met E. at the climbing gym two years ago (I asked to try on his belay glasses, lol) and with his encouragement I’ve made climbing one of my main forms of exercise. I really like that I can be social while I do it but that it’s not a team sport. Today is a “high gravity” day for me though and I barely finish any climbs. Oh well, I’m just happy to be moving my body.

7 p.m. — E. drops me off post-climb and I take my doggo to the nearby park for her big evening walk. I’m exhausted but she has so much energy! She rolls in the grass, runs into volleyball games and is generally a little menace. Unfortunately she’s also the love of my life and can do no wrong in my eyes.

8 p.m. — When I get home I try a New York Times Cooking app recipe: shrimp salad with corn, couscous, cucumbers and blistered tomatoes. I proudly add some basil, mint and chives from my herb garden. I try to make a new recipe once a week and I’d say this one gets a 6.5 out of 10 — it might be one of those dishes that is better served cold. I settle in with my dinner to the most recent episode of Last Week Tonight but honestly barely pay attention. I’m an empathetic person who strives to be informed but my tolerance for news and politics ebbs and flows, and tonight I’m just too tired. I turn my attention to completing all of the NYT puzzles and scrolling on my computer. I lost my prescription sunglasses on my camping trip so buy the exact same pair as a replacement. Unfortunately it won’t come before my beach vacation next week (I’m going to Cape Cod with my mom) so I make a mental note to fish out a cheap pair before I leave. $38.43

8 p.m. — I also realize my dog is getting low on her food so I put in an order for that on Amazon. She’s on a prescription diet for a sensitive tummy because she (and I) have IBS. Like mother, like daughter I guess! $57.13

11 p.m. — I’m exhausted — who knew not working could be so tiring? I wash my face/brush my teeth/do the bare minimum to clean the kitchen (throw all the dishes in the sink and wipe the counter) before getting into bed and calling it a night.

Daily Total: $95.56

Day Four

8:30 a.m. — Same morning routine: scroll, walk the doggo, water my container garden. Make latte and eat oats with peanut butter and berries, nothing too exciting here. I do pick up two pairs of pants I needed to get patched from the tailor on my dog walk. Both pairs have ripped at the seams multiple times but they’re great summer pants (some sort of linen/cotton blend) so I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. $12

10 a.m. — Time for my AI safety class. It’s two hours every Friday and my cohort tunes in from Canada/Vancouver/New York/Paris! Even though it can be grueling at times, it’s my first time learning in a structured way since college and I’m pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoy reading and discussing academic papers. I never wanted to go to grad school but maybe? This week we’re discussing how to use AI to better scale up (i.e. make smarter) other, more powerful AI. It’s kind of a scary concept and I argue the position of why do we generally need intelligent AI at all? Why can’t AI just be specialized to a specific task? Like one AI for helping to pay the bills and another to help outline creative stories. Thought-provoking discussion from the class and I leave with my head buzzing.

12:30 p.m. — I have family friends coming to town tomorrow and that fact alone urges me to deep-clean my apartment. Can’t have them reporting to my mother that I live in filth! I dust, sweep, vacuum and mop and am exhausted by the end of it.

2:30 p.m. — Love being in my space when it’s sparkling clean. The feeling is short-lived because I need to pack up my things to spend the weekend at E.’s. He lives about 30 minutes away in the suburbs so it always feels like a schlep to get there, especially when I have a dog and have to bring her crate. Briefly stop at his house to drop off my stuff, then drop my dog at her grooming appointment. She’s a terrier so I don’t need to get her shaved but E. has been complaining about her long nails for months now.

4:15 p.m. — Realize my car is absolutely filthy post-camping trip and my mom would kill me if I drove my family friends around in its current state. Head to the nearest full-service car wash and shell out for the deluxe interior clean. Still have an hour or so to kill before I need to pick up my dog so I see if I can walk another dog in the meantime (and make back some of the money I spent on this car wash). Unfortunately no one needs their dog walked on a Friday at 5 p.m. so I head back to E.’s. We do all the NYT games together (he’s better at Connections, I’m better at Wordle #teamwork). $48.30

6:30 p.m. — Time to pick up doggo from the groomer and oh my dog, did they butcher her haircut! I asked them to trim her neck hair since it’s longer than the rest of her body hair and they literally just shaved her neck. She looks so silly, I can’t stop laughing. I guess this is what I get for trying to save some money by going to PetSmart. Oh well, it’ll grow back. $58

8 p.m. — Back at E.’s and he’s making us chicken wings while I whip up some cornbread. Love a good summer meal. We settle in with our food while watching the Olympics opening ceremony. I’m not someone who usually follows sports but after watching Break Point on Netflix I’ve become obsessed with tennis. And of course I’ve got to cheer on the Colorado climbers competing!

11:30 p.m. — We finish the night by watching Guardians of the Galaxy since I promised E. I’d watch all the Marvel movies in timeline order (yes, I am a good girlfriend). I can barely keep my eyes open and honestly all the Marvel plots are the same anyway so I just tell him I loved it. He’s so happy I share in his #culture. Get into bed and am asleep in five minutes.

Daily Total: $118.30

Day Five

9 a.m. — Wake up in E.’s bed with my dog whining to be let out of her crate. Usually she sleeps with us at night but E. has a full-size bed, which is a bit of a squeeze for the three of us. After a bit of scrolling I get up and take her to the park at the end of E.’s street. She gets to run around off leash and has a great time.

10 a.m. — Back at E.’s and getting ready for a big day out with family friends. I’m experiencing an IBS flare-up so I stick to a banana and a bit of bread for breakfast. My family friend, P., texts me that their plane landed early so I jump in the shower and head out.

11:20 a.m. — Pick up P. and his son, M., at the airport. P.’s wife and my mom’s parents were friends in their 20s so our family friendship runs deep. They’re in town for 24 hours to see a show at Red Rocks (Tedeschi Trucks) and have enlisted me to be their tour guide beforehand. I drive them into Denver to show them my place. M. lives in NYC and is flabbergasted that my rent is half of his. Then I take them to a trendy but yummy brunch spot a mile or so away. While we wait, I show them the used record store down the street and snag two Beatles records and a Doobie Brothers record for my collection. Brunch is absolutely delicious. I get a biscuit with veggie gravy and eggs, and pray my stomach doesn’t explode. P. and M. get burritos. P. pays. $18.49

2 p.m. — Next stop: Boulder! It’s M.’s first time in Colorado and he can’t stop staring out the window at the mountains. I convince him to come back with his girlfriend for more than 24 hours next time and offer camping and skiing trips. He’s an easy sell. I take them to Chautauqua Park to get a proper view of the Flatirons and they can’t wipe the grins off their faces, it’s so sweet. Then I drop them at their hotel right off of Pearl Street and find parking. I take a 20-minute cat nap in my car, then head to my favorite bookstore/coffee shop on Pearl Street. I skim a book about hiking the Colorado Trail and daydream about taking an epic backpacking trip. I promise myself I’ll do another multi-day outdoor adventure before my leave is up. Since it’s P.’s 60th birthday on Monday, I grab him a slice of cake and an iced tea from a nearby chocolate shop. $10.85

4:30 p.m. — Meet up with P. and M. and grab margaritas and guac on Pearl Street before heading to Red Rocks. P. pays. P. loves his cake and vibes are very high. Find P.’s high school friend and get in the car to Red Rocks. P. and his friend B. have hired a driver to take us there and we go through several bottles of prosecco on the way. Never have I ever gone to Red Rocks in this kind of style!

6 p.m. — Get to the top of Red Rocks and link up with E. P. says he’s going to give E. a hard time but they hit it off immediately. P. can’t find the tickets so it takes us a while to get in (and involves P. having to bribe a security guard, lol) but we all feel triumphant once we’re inside. I grab double vodka lemonades for E. and myself to keep the party going and we all scarf down hot dogs and fries (P.’s friend B. pays) before trying to find seats. $43.40

10:45 p.m. — The night flies by as we dance under the stars (with the help of another round of drinks from E. and a joint). Red Rocks is such a special place and I’m so happy I got to be there with P., M. and E. E. and I head out before the encore and walk down to E.’s car. We are elated.

11:45 p.m. — Back at E.’s and my dog is going crazy. I play with her for a little bit before getting into bed…and oh no, I have the spins. Guess I can’t party like I’m 22 anymore. I squeeze my eyes closed and pray it goes away soon.

Daily Total: $72.74

Day Six

10 a.m. — Last night was rough. I was up between 3 a.m. and 6:45 a.m. with tummy pains, and ended up curling up on the couch. So much for avoiding the IBS flare-up after yesterday’s fun! I let doggo out in the backyard and crawl from E.’s bed to the couch with some coffee, banana, and challah bread. I turn on the Olympics and watch Coco Gauff absolutely destroy Ajla Tomljanović. It’s fun and definitely distracts me from my tummy pains.

12:30 p.m. — E. and I drive back up to Boulder to pick up my car. I offer to snag him a sweet treat in exchange but he’s not in the mood for anything.

2:30 p.m. — Back to E.’s house to watch more Olympics and lounge. I love a lazy Sunday — even though I’m not working, it feels needed somehow. Do 30 minutes of yoga with Peloton while catching up with E.’s roomies who are back from a music festival. I don’t particularly enjoy the rave scene but it’s been cool to get to know people who do. Have an egg and some leftover cornbread for lunch.

6 p.m. — E. and his roomie D. and I walk over to the local movie theater to see Deadpool & Wolverine. I have no desire to see it but E. bought me a ticket and assured me I would enjoy. He was right! It’s so silly and there are five to 10 butt jokes that really make me giggle. I guess I am a Marvel girlie now. E. gets a slushy and I get a Sprite and pretzel (since I’m worried popcorn will upset my stomach). I pay. $22.75

10 p.m. — Back home for the first time in a few days and boy, does it feel good. I scroll on my phone and pass out.

Daily Total: $22.75

Day Seven

9 a.m. — Ahhh, I love waking up in my own bed. Scroll for a bit and then take doggo for a walk and water my plants. Make some coffee and oatmeal with bananas and peanut butter and settle in to do my AI safety class reading. I left my computer at E.’s so I put the reading up on my TV and take notes, which is kind of fun — it’s like a college lecture.

11:45 a.m. — Head to the climbing gym to take a core class and do a bit of bouldering. Sheesh, the instructor jumps right into class and I can feel I’m going to be sore tomorrow. Feels good to move my body though. It’s so nice to be at the gym in the middle of the day when it’s not too crowded.

1:45 p.m. — Drive 10 minutes from the gym to walk a doggo named Hank. He’s cute but a big puller, which annoys me. Train your big dogs, people! Get paid $10 for a 20-minute walk — not bad.

3 p.m. — Speed home to take a quick shower and say hi to my doggo and then head out to get drinks with former coworkers T. and A. A. was laid off a year ago and it’s so nice to hear that he’s been thriving since then. T. and I catch him up on all the drama since he left and his mouth is literally agape. His reaction is so, so, so validating and reminds me why I left a full-time job to take medical leave. Both he and T. encourage me to spend some real time manifesting what I want to come next and I leave feeling excited. $18.48

7 p.m. — Head to my friend S.’ apartment to have dinner with her and our other friend, F. They are my two closest friends in Denver and S. is moving in a few months, so every hangout feels bittersweet. We watch men’s gymnastics with a Brat soundtrack and comment on their form like we know anything about gymnastics. It’s great fun. Then we turn on the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders doc while eating amazing homemade sesame noodles, courtesy of S. We all agree that watching the cheerleaders gives us anxiety and body dysmorphia, and we feel bad for them.

11 p.m. — Finally home and exhausted! Crawl into bed with doggo and try to get some shuteye (after scrolling, of course). What a week!

Daily Total: $18.48

The Breakdown

Weekly Total $$ Spent: $716.98
Food & Drink: $274.77
Entertainment: $40.49
Home & Health: $153.56
Clothes & Beauty $167
Transportation $70.31
Other $10.85

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Summer ‘24 is bringing the heat! And we’re not just talking about the weather! The rare sturgeon super blue moon in Aquarius is making waves on August 19, urging us to re-envision our goals and reshape our futures. According to our calculations, the last super blue moon in Aquarius occurred on August 10 2014, making this lunation rare and exceptional. Gaze upon the moon and manifest your desires! You might find that the stars and planets hold the answers to the questions you’ve been pondering and reflecting upon.

In August 2014, what concepts were you imagining and wanting to bring to life? Did you want to join forces with like-minded people or to rebel against the status quo? This is the second telling of the hopes and aspirations from that time. Reinforcing individuality and authenticity is essential: We’ve been trying to liberate ourselves from past trauma and pain, to have creative breakthroughs and to heighten our self-worth. We can augment our present situations by reassessing the events that unfolded 10 years ago. 

A blue moon transpires when there are two full moons in 29.5 days. Since the last full moon was on July 21, we have days for a blue moon to ensue. And no, the moon isn’t actually blue — although it can sometimes appear that way due to natural disasters such as volcanic eruptions and forest fires. We use the phrase “once in a blue moon” as a metaphor to mean something that is highly unlikely or only happens rarely, just like getting two full moons in one calendar month. The super moon occurs when the moon is perigee to Earth (perigee is the technical term for proximity). When this happens, the moon appears bigger and brighter. Earthlings feel deeper emotions and the tides are more intense due to the moon’s gravitational pull. Since all living beings are mainly composed of water, we get affected by lunar vibes like those of the super blue moon.

The lunation is in the sign of Aquarius, who is associated with innovation, progress and group efforts, and is in aspect to Mercury, who’s retrograde in Leo, and Uranus in Taurus. Combining the three fixed planets (moon in Aquarius, sun in Leo, Mercury retrograde in Leo, and Uranus in Taurus) forces us to take action. This isn’t a time to sit on the sidelines and watch matters unfold. We will speak up about humanitarian issues to bring change to the world. If there is a cause that you’re drawn to on an individual level, the super blue moon will push you to advocate for that cause.

The super blue moon allows us to explore new and novel ideologies. As Mercury is currently moonwalking, it may bring conflict with others when we’re on our soapboxes. Find ways to understand the philosophy and ideas of others — mainly by keeping an open mind. We don’t have to agree with the opinions of others; however, we shouldn’t argue with them because that creates unnecessary noise and stands in the way of our points being heard. Expressing yourself with a calm demeanor could transform people’s views. Once they comprehend your standpoints, altering their perspectives will be easier. 

Three mutable signs (Venus in Virgo, Jupiter in Gemini, and Saturn retrograde in Pisces) form an energetic knot on August 19. These fraught connections push us to break free from the past and move forward with the times. We want to explore more evolved ways of reasoning and search the universe for answers. Finding different modalities of thinking through group endeavors can start a positive revolution for and by the people.

The super blue moon in Aquarius is the climax of the recent upheaval we’ve been facing. With the comet Chiron, retrograde in Aries, in play we can heal the world. We can change and rebuild the planet one step at a time. Practicing compassion, empathy and benevolence will help us on our quest — so put your best foot forward and show others how to love each other and fight for their beliefs. Remember, now is not the time to be silent. Take a stand! 

You can be your own astrologer and find personal meaning in the lunation by following this cosmic advice: If you’re wondering how the super blue moon will affect you, look at your birth chart. The houses that Aquarius, Scorpio and Sagittarius rule and the location of your moon sign will be the most impacted. Why? You always want to look at your moon sign and placement during major lunations because it anchors how you’ll feel. Pay attention to the house ruled by the sign Aquarius to see the focal point of the super blue moon. The fixed signs in the mix do not include Scorpio so that house will take a hit, too. Also, Sagittarius isn’t included in the activated mutable energies, which is why it’s vital. Then you can create your personal super blue moon story and know what to manifest. You got this! 

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We’ve made it to an Aquarius full moon week and now that Mercury has retrograded back into Leo for the rest of its transit, this week is characterized by a more dramatic flair, coupled with an emotionally detached energy. All zodiac signs will benefit from staying in their own lanes and tending to their own grass rather than getting caught up in drama, disarray or comparison during this full moon passage. 

We’re also in the final two weeks of Pluto’s transit through Aquarius, which is bringing critical matters regarding our personal and collective evolution to an apex. What have you (we) been in denial of lately? And what can we do to face this head-on rather than burying our heads in the sand? That’s what this week’s full moon in Aquarius combined with the start of Virgo season on the 22nd will ask of us. It’s up to us to be brave enough to face what must be faced and do what must be done. 

Read your horoscopes for your Sun and Rising signs for the most in-depth forecast.

Aries Sun & Rising:

Aries, now that Mercury is back in Leo for the final stretch of its retrograde, you’re seeking ways to reconnect with your childhood dreams. This is definitely the time to pick up a paintbrush, let yourself have fun at karaoke night or sign up for an improv class. Your mind is filled with exciting ideas for how to revitalize your energy, and the key is to act on those ideas and not overthink them.  

The Aquarius full moon on the 19th is the highlight of the week and it takes place in your sector of friendships, tech and social networks. You may be in the mood to take a break from social media or go through a digital detox of sorts, and this is due to both Pluto and the moon being in this sector of your chart and making you feel the need to start fresh. Just make sure you’re not burning bridges prematurely in the process, because Mercury’s retrograde in Leo is making you act in more impulsive ways. It may be best to dream about the new beginning you’re ready to initiate and wait until the Virgo new moon strikes next month before going for it.

Taurus Sun & Rising:

Taurus, you’re feeling all fired up now that Mercury, the planet of communication, is back in Leo. However, since it’s still in retrograde motion, you may not know where to direct all that creative and passionate energy, which could lead to it fizzling out or being dispersed in several directions. Ask yourself what it is you really want to be paying attention to right now and why — you’d benefit from saying no to anything that’s distracting or overwhelming you. 

The Aquarius full moon on the 19th will be felt all week long, and it’s mainly activating your sector of career and reputation. Think back to the intentions you had for that aspect of your life during Aquarius season six months ago. Several of these goals are likely to have manifested by now but there may have been plot twists or unexpected delays that you’re currently navigating, which are testing your patience and faith in yourself and the cosmos. Your main lesson this week is to not be afraid to ask for help, and to receive it once it comes. 

Gemini Sun & Rising:

Gemini, now that your planetary ruler Mercury has retrograded its way back into Leo for the final stretch of its transit, you’re feeling more selfish and it’ll be more evident in the way you communicate. If people were previously expecting you to always tend to their needs or bend over backwards for them, you’ll suddenly set fierce boundaries this week, which may catch them off guard. Do you, babe. You know what’s best for your mental and spiritual health so be unapologetic about it. 

This week’s Aquarius full moon instills you with a sense of peace when it comes to trying to figure out what to do “next.” Your sector of expansion and long journeys is activated by this lunation, which means that for once you’ll be in the mood to sit down and contemplate where you are now instead of trying to brainstorm all the places you can go to tomorrow. Being aware of the power of the present moment is an essential part of your full moon ascension this week so meditate, simplify and let your intuition take the lead as you drop the dead weight and soar.

Cancer Sun & Rising:

Cancer, since we’re in a full moon week and you’re ruled by the moon, you’re likely to feel restless and easily distracted this week, also because Mercury is currently retrograde in Leo in your sector of money and self-esteem. If you feel like it’s a struggle to get a handle on your finances, try your best to treat yourself with patience, kindness and compassion rather than being your toughest critic. Life is quite tumultuous astrologically, and it’s best to laugh things off rather than taking everything too seriously. You still have to honestly assess your current circumstances but do not feel dictated by them. Remain malleable and open to unexpected miracles.  

This week’s Aquarius full moon takes place in your sector of depth, merging and outside resources. For many Cancers, this full moon could mean the end of a work relationship that you’ve outgrown. The key is to let this happen without trying to control why it’s happening. Pluto is getting ready to re-enter Capricorn in September and will activate your relationship sector for 10 weeks. Right now you’re in a period of closure and release as the Aquarius full moon shines light on what must go and what can remain.

Leo Sun & Rising:

Leo, this has been one of the trippiest birthday seasons you’ve experienced in your life and now that Mercury is back in your sign for the rest of its retrograde, your life’s only getting trippier. The key is to not try to figure out what all this trippy energy means. Life is supposed to feel a bit confusing and uncertain right now, especially as we approach eclipse season. Allow yourself to get curious about life’s unknowns during Mercury’s retrograde through your sign. Think back to the dreams you’ve told yourself you’d pursue at the start of your birthday season. You may be ready to make more room for them now. 

This week’s Aquarius full moon in your partnership sector is an awakening to ways you may have ignored the yellow or red flags in your connections in order to keep the peace. Pluto’s final stretch in Aquarius is a reminder to speak your truth while also taking other people’s perspectives into account. This may be easier said than done due to Mercury retrograde opposing the Aquarius full moon, so be aware that misunderstandings are still likely to occur this week. Try not to stoke the flames of the fire just because you’re bored. Read a book instead!

Virgo Sun & Rising:

Virgo, now that your ruler Mercury has retrograded its way out of your sign and into Leo for the rest of its journey, you’d benefit from being in hibernation mode — up until your birthday season begins on the 22nd, that is. Once the sun enters your sign and Virgo season begins, so much will seem to shift at once. The most important action you can take during this time is to tend to your nervous system and avoid getting caught up in distractions or societal expectations of who you should be or how you should show up.  

This may be easier said than done though, because this week’s Aquarius full moon is activating your sector of health, wellness and routine, and when you combine this air sign energy with the fact that Mars and Jupiter are in Gemini right now, you may find it challenging to turn your mind off during these final days of Mercury retrograde. If you can, spend time journaling your feelings or venting to a therapist so that you can healthily release them rather than keeping them bottled up.  

Libra Sun & Rising:

Libra, if there’s anything Venus’ current transit in Virgo is teaching you, it’s to learn to be okay with the messiness in your relationships, especially the one you have with yourself. Your spiritual journey and your healing journey isn’t going to be linear. There are times when you’ll feel like you’re making immense progress, and other times when you feel super lonely or like you keep repeating the same errors. The latter is particularly possible due to Mercury’s retrograde in Leo in your sector of communication. This could lead to you being too hard on yourself for past mistakes. Make it a vow to do a forgiveness ritual this week and start fresh. 

The Aquarius full moon, which strikes on the 19th and will be felt all week, helps lighten the mental load you’ve placed on yourself. The more time you can spend in nature, just chilling and letting your imagination run wild, the better. You’ve been overthinking your life experiences this year due to the South Node in your sign, but this full moon is a reminder that not knowing exactly where you’re going or how you’re going to get there is an essential part of the journey of finding and recognizing yourself. 

Scorpio Sun & Rising:

Scorpio, these final three weeks of Mars in Gemini may prove to be overstimulating for your nervous system, particularly since Pluto, your ruling planet, is in its final two weeks in Aquarius, causing astrological friction with your fixed water sign energy. 

This year has felt like test after test after test, and Mercury’s current retrograde in Leo in your sector of career is making you want to take a breather and just rest. But you’re likely to do the opposite — you may push yourself to keep going even if your body sends you signs to stay still. Ask yourself why that is, Scorpio.  

Prioritize slowing down yet also maintaining a consistent pace toward what’s calling you most. What are you in a rush for? 

This is a question that may be answered naturally throughout the course of the week as your sector of roots, the past and the home will be activated by this week’s Aquarius full moon. You’ll be in the mood to get to the core of what home and safety really means to you. Perhaps you once thought it was represented by a certain number in your bank account. But now you may feel like the consistent presence of someone you can fully trust and open up to is the safest feeling in the world. Allow your worldviews to shift in whatever way feels right this week. 

Sagittarius Sun & Rising:

Sag, now that Mercury is retrograde in Leo, be careful what you ask for and what you share with others, because you could end up in power struggles, and what starts off as a relatively harmless joke coming from you could end up rubbing people the wrong way. People are more susceptible to misunderstanding you or having preconceived notions about you during this final stretch of Mercury retrograde.  

Fortunately, the Aquarius full moon’s energy serves as a reminder to not take yourself or others too seriously. Your sector of communication is activated by this lunation so if you’ve been holding back from expressing what you really want from a creative partnership, a friendship or a relationship, it may all come out at once this full moon week, in a stream-of-consciousness type of vibe. This will feel profoundly liberating, albeit a bit terrifying because it entails being fiercely vulnerable with yourself and others. Lead the way with transparency.

Capricorn Sun & Rising:

Capricorn, after experiencing two back-to-back full moons in your sign these past two months, madame luna has passed the torch to Aquarius. The Aquarius full moon takes place on the 19th, in your sector of money and security. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at the developments that manifest in your life thanks to this lunation — but in order to truly receive these blessings, you’d benefit from making room for them by letting go of what’s no longer a vibrational match. 

Virgo season begins on the 22nd and having the sun in a fellow Earth sign will feel profoundly stabilizing and grounding for you, as it’ll help you better prioritize. Just make sure that you’re not taking life too seriously during Virgo season, and that you’re making room for play, pleasure and positivity. Yes, it’s important to stay aligned with what makes you feel productive but sometimes the most productive thing you can do is simply rest, chill and be here now. Can you allow yourself to do that?

Aquarius Sun & Rising:

This week is all about you, Aquarius. An epic full moon in your sign takes place on the 19th at 2:26 p.m. EST and you’ll continue to feel the effects of this lunation all week long. This is a period of profound regeneration for you — of mind, body and spirit. Some Aquarians may feel the urge to fast or take a digital detox during this full moon week. You want to prepare your body and spirit for a spiritual shift. But since Mercury is retrograde in Leo, you run the risk of taking things to extremes, which could backfire. Your challenge and mission this week is to find a middle ground.

Your desire to feel centered and at ease in what you focus on is accentuated by the fact that Virgo season begins on the 22nd. Virgo energy is so completely different than yours that sometimes all you can do is watch Virgos in awe and ask them, “Is this how y’all live?” You won’t have much choice but to slow your roll and be more routine-based during Virgo season so do your best to find the magic in the mundane.

Pisces Sun & Rising:

Pisces, with Mercury now retrograde in Leo in your sector of health, wellness and routine, you may be a bit hypercritical of your looks or chosen routine this week. Make sure that your health goals do not lead to you pushing yourself too far or too hard in order to impress people around you. Saturn is retrograde in your sign, encouraging you to focus on validating yourself for yourself, first and foremost. 

The Aquarius full moon occurring this week helps us bid adieu to Leo season and prepare for Virgo season, which kickstarts on the 22nd and lasts for four weeks. Your sector of spirituality, healing and closure is activated by this Aquarian lunation and, once Virgo season begins, your sector of partnership will also be accentuated. This astrological combination means that relationship-healing — particularly the relationship you have with frenemies or enemies — becomes an essential theme for you this week.

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Money Diaries will be running Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week in conjunction with our Money Diaries segments on Good Morning America! We will have a new diary for you Friday and will be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week.

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: an application support analyst who makes $60,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on an embroidered Snoopy jean tote bag.

If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.

Occupation: Application support analyst
Industry: IT
Age: 31
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Salary: $60,000
Assets: Checking: $1,252.55; savings: $528.02 (used to be higher but I was unemployed for almost a year and ran through this); 401(k): ~$18,000 (I should figure out how to log into that account); my partner and I bought a house recently so that’s $365,000 (minus what we owe).
Debt: $9,500 ($1,500 of student loans and the rest is credit card debt); mortgage: $315,000.
Paycheck amount (biweekly): $1,654.20
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: $1,050 (my proportional half of the mortgage and utilities).
Loan payments: $325 minimum (usually $650) for my credit card. Student loans are on hold right now.
Car insurance: I’m on my partner’s car insurance right now.
Health insurance: $55 (+ $175 to my HSA pre-tax).
Cell phone: $96
Apple storage: $9.99
CycleBar: $35
Podcast subscription: $8
Netflix: $16.88
Peacock: $6.46
Paramount+: $6.53
Amazon Prime: $16.16 (my partner pays for Spotify Premium and Hulu Live. We get HBO Max for free with our phone plan).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I was told growing up that I would have way more opportunities if I went to college. I went to community college for two years first and my parents paid for that. Then I got a bunch of scholarships and loans when I transferred to my four-year university. I was ashamed at the time but now I’m super grateful because I’m a couple payments away from being student loan-free.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My mom took care of all the finances in our household and would balance the checkbook. She taught me to pay off credit cards and to not let them get too high, and to save. We were probably lower middle class when I was younger. Now that I have adult money, I’ve lost some of those values and have been less responsible than I’d like to be.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked as a personal assistant to a local attorney. I got it because I needed to pay for gas and books for college.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not exactly because I always had the basics but I do remember being jealous of the girls in high school who had the North Face and Uggs — I knew my family couldn’t afford those things so I never asked. But I never went without anything I actually needed.

Do you worry about money now?
Somewhat. I know I should be better about my spending habits so that worries me, but for now I feel okay since it’s just me and my partner and I’m confident I can get my credit card debt down soon enough. My savings account is abysmal right now though.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Honestly, I didn’t move out until I was 27. I was making significantly less than I am now and couldn’t afford it until then. I do feel I have a financial safety net in my parents and my partner and I recognize that it’s an immense privilege to have their support.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Not really, though I think the money my mom got when my grandma died paid for some of my student loans.

Day One

7 a.m. — Get a message from my manager at 6:30 a.m. that he’s adding me to a “semi-hot” issue. It’s the first major thing I’ve gotten to help with since I started this role so I get up and start getting ready for my start time of 8 a.m. I make toast and coffee and drink the coffee but am full before I can finish the toast.

12 p.m. — I have leftover chicken soup I made from when I got sick last Monday (it’s still fine, right?). I was going to do grocery shopping during lunch today but I feel nauseous so I stay home. I’m assuming it’s from the medicine I took this weekend since I injected it on Sunday instead of the usual time on Saturday.

6:30 p.m. — For dinner I have more chicken soup. My partner, J., was trying to get me to pick up burritos for dinner but I am trying to be better about my spending so I just make do with what’s at home.

8:30 p.m. — I settle in to watch Bridgerton. I was waiting for it to get close to the drop day of the new episodes to watch the first half of them. J. always interrupts me during pivotal moments in shows or books and this time is no different. Of all the times to talk, you want to talk NOW, during the carriage scene?! Sigh. I finish the episodes, shower and read until I get sleepy.

Daily Total: $0

Day Two

6:30 a.m. — I wake up on time today, which is great because I’m already getting Teams messages. I make breakfast (coffee and peanut butter with banana toast) and sit outside on my balcony to read and journal while I eat. I take the dog out for her morning walk and am back just in time to log in at 8 a.m.

11:30 a.m. — I found this recipe for potato and chorizo flautas that I have most of the ingredients for so I head to the grocery store for the rest. I get another potato, a tomato, milk, bread, lettuce, ranch dressing, hot sauce, and normal-size and large tortillas. I’ve been craving cookies so I also get some Chips Ahoy and Oreos. When I get home I make a wrap with the large tortillas and pre-cooked chicken packets from Costco. $55.46

4:30 p.m. — Finishing up for the day so I take my laptop outside and do some ~gardening~ from the balcony — it’s one of my favorite ways to de-stress. Once I can log off I get ready to take the dog out for her long afternoon walk.

8 p.m. — I’m still feeling the effects from my gardening so I decide to be productive and start making the flautas (really, I just wanted to peel potatoes). I regret this about 30 minutes in because it feels like it’s going to take forever. By the time I’m loading the dishwasher it’s 10 p.m. So much for going to bed early!

Daily Total: $55.46

Day Three

7:15 a.m. — Going to bed late definitely bit me in the ass and I have a not-very-productive morning. I make coffee and toast for breakfast and log in to work at 8 a.m.

11 a.m. — Have a virtual visit with the doctor I’m seeing, who is prescribing my semaglutide prescription. I tell her how sick I got from eating something very fatty this weekend and she decides to keep me at my current dose. She says she’s happy with how I’m progressing (as am I!) and doesn’t feel the need to up the dosage. I’m okay with that because I hate feeling nauseous. The total cost for this is $129 for the doctor visit and $299 for the meds but I pay for it with HSA money.

1 p.m. — Hungry enough to eat lunch now so I make the same wrap I made yesterday. It’s such a quick and easy lunch, I’m annoyed I hadn’t thought to make it sooner!

7 p.m. — Work was stressful for no reason today and I’m still feeling blah. I eat a couple of Chips Ahoy cookies and some chips and call that Girl Dinner Lite. I watch The Challenge and am super excited because they’ve finally gotten to the final and my favorite Challenger is still in the game. My partner comes home with leftovers from his office party and I take two bites of the two different pizzas he brought home, eat half a meatball from the leftovers and call that dinner.

10 p.m. — Forever trying to go to bed early so I can actually wake up in the morning. Typically failing. I read a little of Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter and go to sleep.

Daily Total: $0

Day Four

8:05 a.m. — I forgot I had a meeting at 8 a.m. today so I rush to make coffee and sign in. Looks like the pup is going to have to wait until all my morning meetings are done for me to take her for her morning walk. The mom guilt is heavy and I’m so annoyed with myself for accidentally sleeping in.

11:30 a.m. — Meetings ran long but I finally get off the phone and take my dog for a long walk. I come back and am not really in the mood to make anything to eat so I just have some Froot Loops for lunch.

5 p.m. — Leave for my 5:30 p.m. nail appointment. I don’t like being late and it’s rush hour. The girl who does my nails is also my friend and we have a good hour-long chat. She gives me some great advice on how to fix things with a friend I was feeling guilty about cutting off (I *may* have overreacted and her advice is to suck it up and apologize). Manicure comes out to $72 plus tip. $82

8 p.m. — I come home super hungry because Froot Loops is NOT a filling lunch. Luckily, J. has come home with more leftovers from another work dinner. I have some mashed potatoes, salmon and half a piece of dry chicken I cover in honey roasted BBQ sauce to make edible.

10 p.m. — J. and I go to bed together. This NEVER happens because he’s a night owl and I like to go to sleep early. We are both having trouble falling asleep so we find ~other things~ to do for a while instead. We should definitely go to bed at the same time more often because this is fun. We don’t actually go to sleep until 12:30 a.m.

Daily Total: $82

Day Five

7:10 a.m. — So much for waking up early! I get dressed and take the dog on her morning walk and feed her while J. takes his car to the dealership for an oil change. Once the dog is fed I leave to go pick J. up since he’s leaving his car there for the day. We stop at Bigby’s for coffee on the drive back home. I get an iced vanilla matcha and he gets a hot hazelnut latte ($12.54); J. pays for the coffee as a thank you for the ride.

12:30 p.m. — Get off the phone with someone who contacted me through LinkedIn asking about the coding program I recently went to. It was a good chat but I need to find something to eat before my lunch is over. I heat up some of the leftovers J. brought home last night and eat the rest of the mashed potatoes and a piece of salmon. I’m feeling extra social today so I FaceTime my mom while I eat. My next meeting is at 1:30 p.m. so I get off the phone with her at 1:15 p.m.

4 p.m. — I’m avoiding work so I go to the kitchen to eat a bite of some leftover Busken cake we have. I garden (this friend thing is making me anxious) and journal it out. I finish my work day doing the rest of these assigned security videos we need to watch.

5 p.m. — Hang out on my patio for a bit before I go back inside and lie down on my yoga mat for some quality floor time. Floor time turns dangerous because one of Instagram’s targeted ads gets me and I buy some Snoopy merch from this website I’ve never heard of (but seems legit). I’m such a sucker for Snoopy things and I get a tote, two stickers, a jean keychain and a Woodstock air freshener for my car. $64.90

8 p.m. — Not in the mood for real food so I have Froot Loops for dinner again. I watch Inmate to Roommate because the podcast I listen to is covering the first episodes of season 2. After I get through all the episodes I go to bed and try to read but I’m more tired than I thought and just go to sleep instead.

Daily Total: $64.90

Day Six

6 a.m. — Of course the day I can sleep in I wake up early — well, J.’s alarm wakes me up (shockingly, not him though) and I decide to get up for the day. I RSVP to a friend’s upcoming wedding and reply to a text from that friend I apologized to. Very relieved he replied because it was making me so anxious. I make toast and coffee for breakfast and sit and read for a bit (None of This Is True by Lisa Jewell). I love a quiet morning.

9 a.m. — I shower and as I’m brushing my teeth I scroll through Instagram. Someone I follow posted her favorites from Anthropologie because their sale items currently have an extra 40% off. I tell myself I’ll just browse but I end up with some earrings and a purse in my cart. Sigh. $61.38

10:30 a.m. — I drive J. to the dealership to pick up his car from the maintenance center. Instead of going home we go get brunch and although there’s a lot of people waiting outside (it’s Father’s Day weekend), we get lucky and are seated right away. We both get breakfast bowls and a hot beverage despite it being full-fledged summer now. $47.75 but J. pays.

2 p.m. — J. got new lube because we couldn’t find the one we had. I can confidently say it works great. After we’re done in bed we both fall asleep.

7 p.m. — Did NOT expect to sleep that long. This is why I don’t usually nap. I take my dog out for her afternoon walk and come back to heat up the rest of the breakfast bowl leftovers. I decide today is the day I’ll finally finish One Day on Netflix (I left off on episode 6).

12:30 a.m. — One Day wrecked me. I am sobbing throughout the final episode. I stay up a little longer to read while J. watches his show but it makes me sleepy so I just head to bed instead.

Daily Total: $61.38

Day Seven

9 a.m. — Slept in today, finally. J. wants to go out for a Father’s Day breakfast (because being a dog dad counts, I guess) and he showers while I take the dog out for a morning walk. There’s a heat warning today so I have to do it now or it’ll be hot for her later.

10:30 a.m. — We get to the breakfast place and they tell us it’ll be an hour wait. I expected this because it’s Father’s Day but we actually only wait 20 minutes until we’re seated. I order a mango bellini I regret (and don’t drink) and a strawberry banana crepe and J. gets a cheeseburger and coffee. The bill comes out to $42.64; J. pays.

12 p.m. — Head to Costco even though it’s Sunday (brave, I know) but we need dishwasher pods and dryer sheets. We also end up getting Downy, eggs, turkey breakfast burritos, smoothie fruit packets, a hose and a trash can with a lid for the bathroom. The total comes out to $131.20 but J. pays.

3:30 p.m. — Go get pedicures with J. I haven’t gotten one all summer and it’s time. The lady doing J.’s toes notices that his cuticles need help so she offers to do his hands, too. With both pedicures and the manicure the total comes out to $100.53 plus tip. $120.53

4:30 p.m. — After pedicures we’re both hungry and I am craving a hot dog so we head to Longfellow since they have a two-for-$9 hot dog deal on their daytime menu. We each order a sauerkraut dog and to drink J. orders a dirty martini and I get an apple cider. The total comes out to $25.57 but J. has a running ledger with the bar so they take it out of that and he just tips with his credit card.

7 p.m. — A friend comes over to pick up some treats she requested from a recent trip to Chicago. She stays and chats for a bit, then once she leaves I heat up some Mexican rice we had in the fridge. After I’m done eating I go to bed and read a little bit before finally going to sleep. Monday tomorrow means an early start again!

Daily Total: $120.53

The Breakdown

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“We were Amyris’ cash cow,” Maya*, a former member of the creative production team at Rose Inc. tells me. Amyris, the incubator behind Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s cosmetic brand, Rose Inc., and Jonathan van Ness’ JVN Hair, declared bankruptcy in the US in 2023. “We were doing well. We were the only profitable brand they owned. But instead of letting Rose Inc. reap the rewards of that success, Amyris took those profits and assigned us minimal budgets,” says Maya. “It was incredibly frustrating to work on successful campaigns to then be told that you only have 30% of the budget you had last year because Amyris was doing badly as a whole.”

So goes the tumultuous story of Rose Inc., a “clean” beauty brand founded and fronted by Huntington-Whiteley in 2018, bringing products to market in 2021. Two short years later, the model walked away, citing “significant changes within the business” under new ownership. What had happened? How had a brand with such a loyal customer base and instantly recognizable founder tumbled into the crevasse of other waning celebrity brands? And why do so many famous-fronted brands meet the same fate?

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Why do so many celebrity beauty brands fail?

In a landscape of rapidly proliferating celebrity beauty brands, a handful stand out: Rare Beauty (Selena Gomez), Haus Labs (Lady Gaga), Fenty Beauty (Rihanna), Pattern Beauty (Tracee Ellis Ross), Rhode Skin (Hailey Bieber) and Victoria Beckham Beauty, to name a few. For all the success of those six, there are hundreds of celebrity brands that don’t quite nail the landing. Alicia Keys’ Keys Soulcare, Pharrell Williams’ Humanrace and Millie Bobby Brown Bongiovi’s Florence by Mills have not had the cut-through or fostered a similar cult following. But that doesn’t deter other famous people from trying their hand. 

Just this month, Courteney Cox’s brand Homecourt expanded into luxury body care, while Blake Lively announced Blake Brown Beauty, a hair care brand focused on shampoos and masks. In February, Beyoncé brought Cécred into the world. Among these launches, there’s been Brad Pitt’s confused, wine-inspired skincare line (replete with three-figure price tag) and Carmen Electra’s song-inspired line, which has since disappeared from the internet. In what feels like one ginormous cash grab, why do some fail so publicly while others reap rewards?

For Rose Inc. (a brand that still trades, albeit without its namesake), critical issues stemmed from being partly owned by a business that was said to be hemorrhaging cash. “We were $1.1 billion in debt and still hiring, still doing campaigns,” Maya shares. “It was ludicrous. I had suppliers who hadn’t been paid for six months and were owed over $180,000.” Following its aforementioned bankruptcy, Amyris forced the sale of JVN Hair, Rose Inc. and Biossance, among others. It appeared to be the latest casualty of a market struggling under the weight of so many brands entering at once, as well as a severe lack of capital and conflicting communications.

A statement shared by Huntington-Whiteley in May this year (which has seemingly since been deleted) touched on various reasons for stepping away from her brand, the foremost being the change in ownership. “In 2018, I founded Rose Inc. with a vision to foster a beauty community and create exceptional products in line with my values and beliefs,” she wrote. “However, due to significant changes within the business, I’ve made the considered decision to step down from the brand.” Since that statement, Huntington-Whiteley has not mentioned Rose Inc. or posted any images of the products, a distinct departure from her previously Rose Inc.-dedicated account. A week after her statement, she shared a six-image carousel post about Dolce and Gabbana Beauty, the door between Rosie and Rose Inc. firmly shut.

Not all celebrity brands experience such boom and bust, though. Some become household names and unequivocal successes. Take Rhode, for example.

From Rhode to Rare: the front runners in celebrity beauty

Admittedly, the first time I tried Hailey Bieber’s beauty and skincare brand, I was underwhelmed. Sure, the packaging and marketing campaigns captured the zeitgeist and she did a stellar job of cookie-crumbing the launches on her social media. But what was inside failed to capture my imagination. 

A year later, when she brought the Pocket Blush to market, I didn’t rush to try it. When I discovered how brilliant it is — creamy, pigmented and long-lasting — it was a total surprise. A celebrity brand I had relegated to the pile of good-not-great had created something undeniably impressive. It felt even more shocking that it had come from a celebrity beauty brand, something many of us, myself included, are quick to dismiss. Had I subconsciously raised the bar for Bieber because I believed she had access to the best of the best when it came to product formulation and research and development? Well, yes. Many of us do this. It’s called the authority effect: when consumers view celebrities as credible authority figures with access to better resources and, as such, expect more from them.

It’s worth reflecting on. The immediate annoyance I feel when another celebrity announces another beauty brand is perhaps less well-founded than I thought. Yes, many are trying to monetize their audience in a lazy, imagination-lacking way that can often feel galling. But others are the result of genuine interest.

“We forget the human side of celebrity beauty brands,” says Rhea Cartwright, a brand consultant and ex-head of beauty at Liberty London. “If you were to ask a teenager if they would one day love to have a beauty or fragrance brand, they’d say absolutely. Why would that childhood dream change just because they are famous? It’s when the product-founder fit isn’t right that celebrity brands feel jarring,” she continues. “For Hailey Bieber, someone who has spoken at length about skincare and makeup, a beauty brand makes sense.”

She’s right. Bieber has long documented her interest in skincare, makeup and hair care. Before she launched Rhode, she would regularly post videos of the makeup she or her makeup artists were using and lo-fi bathroom videos of her skincare routine. That sweet spot — recognition paired with active interest and participation — is what sets the successful brands apart and Rhode has it in spades.

“It has to start with the founder. They’re the skin, the hair, the [insert body part],” Cartwright explains. “And then it’s about community. Celebrities with beauty brands that are thriving have always been deeply connected to their community. Take Rihanna, Tracee Ellis Ross, Lady Gaga or Selena Gomez — their fans are obsessed. It’s not enough just to be famous. There has to be an emotional connection for it to work.”

Maintaining that emotional connection requires a celebrity founder to repeatedly and regularly interact and champion their brand. While some may deem it the fluffy stuff, it can be a real marker of whether a brand is destined for success or a TJ Maxx shelf, as Susan Yara, former beauty journalist, content creator and founder of Naturium, explains to me: “Take Selena [Gomez]. You see how much she participates in Rare Beauty. While we might never know how much she’s involved in the innovation or their operations, we see her going out, meeting with influencers, going to events and speaking with her customers about the products. It feels very authentic.”

The celebrity paradox

There has to be more than a likeable celebrity face to buy a product. Our perception of the person (do they align with my values, champion the same causes or act as an aspirational figure?) is important but it’s not the entire story. There are plenty of funny, admirable, talented celebrities who, having released a beauty brand, go down in our estimations. One salient example is JLo Beauty. In 2021, Jennifer Lopez launched a six-part skincare line hinged on extra virgin olive oil, an ingredient that she said she had used on her face for years. Without casting tweakment or surgical aspersions, Lopez has not only used olive oil for her skin: Over the years she’s gone on record listing other, luxury products she uses. (The main interview she did with Hello! listing her skincare routine has seemingly been scrubbed from the internet.) It’s little wonder, then, that she was accused of dishonesty. On top of this, the product names seemed straight out of the early ‘90s (Firm + Flaunt, Smooth + Seduce, Tighten + Tease), lacking the ingredient-led transparency our contemporary skincare market demands. 

Sofia*, a PR account manager in London, tells me that she trusts celebrity skincare lines far less than other ventures. “I’m more hesitant with celebrity-owned skincare brands than I am with celebrity makeup brands. Because I have acne-prone skin and I know how much goes into keeping my skin healthy, I have less trust in celebrities who have access to top dermatologists and facialists to preserve their skin health — not just the products they’re selling.”

It makes sense. Celebrities with “perfect” skin selling skincare convey the message (subliminally or otherwise) that you too could have skin like theirs — if you buy their products. It’s a marketing formula that can translate to anything: hair, nails, body or supplements. 

“Psychologically, celebrity beauty brands tap into principles such as social proof and the halo effect,” explains Shakaila Forbes-Bell, Clearpay’s consumer insights psychologist. “Social proof refers to the influence that seeing a product endorsed by a celebrity has on our perception of its value and quality. The halo effect is the cognitive bias where the positive impression of a celebrity can extend to their products, leading us to believe that their beauty products are superior.”

These phenomena can lead consumers to equate a celebrity’s appearance with the products they promote, usually via highly visual channels like Instagram and TikTok, says Forbes-Bell. “And this year, 27% of consumers are spending more on beauty because of social media,” she adds. The data supports this. In 2023, the global social commerce market (i.e. selling via social media) was valued at $1.3 trillion. This figure is expected to balloon to $6.2 trillion by 2030. For someone with a sizeable audience (hundreds of thousands if not millions of followers), capitalizing on sales via social media seems sensible. But the success of that approach hinges on the perception their consumers have of them — something that can change as they do.

For Izzy, a 31-year-old chief of brand based in London, Kylie Jenner’s makeup brand only caught her attention when it changed its approach and branding. “Years ago, Kylie Cosmetics didn’t interest me. The products were brightly colored eyeshadows and lip glosses, which was a direct reflection of her image at the time. Now, however, as her aesthetic has changed — becoming more minimal and simple — I’m much more receptive to what she’s selling.”

What do we even want from celebrity brands?

At the beginning of the year, beauty journalist and content creator Laura Capon posted a TikTok video detailing the five beauty brands she felt were at risk of shuttering in 2024. Among them was Nimya, the personal care brand created by YouTuber Nikki Tutorials aka Nikkie de Jager-Drossaers. Capon cited the reason for her prediction as de Jager-Drossaers’ decision to launch skincare before makeup, the niche she is best known for. “People want makeup from you,” Capon says. “Your [personal] brand isn’t established in skincare, it’s established in makeup. Looking at the website, it’s not aspirational, it’s not affordable, it’s not even particularly cool.” Another influencer brand with a tumultuous story is Selfless By Hyram, created by Hyram Yarbro. Yarbro, who has over 4.5 million YouTube subscribers and 826k Instagram followers, first released his skincare line in collaboration with The Inkey List, launching exclusively at Sephora in 2021. In January 2023, Sephora dropped both Selfless By Hyram and Item Beauty (Addison Rae’s blue light-focused skincare brand). 

@laucapon 5 beauty brands I think are at risk of closing in 2024 #beautyindustry #beautynews #illamasqua #coverfx #kevynaucoin #eyelure #nimya #learnwithlc ♬ original sound – LC

That said, it wouldn’t be fair to lump all celebrity brands together and judge accordingly. It’s simply not a fair test. Fenty Beauty, for example, is a runaway celebrity success but it’s backed by LVMH, the luxury conglomerate that owns Sephora. “I think people forget that Fenty will have access to all of that Sephora data,” cautions Cartwright. “You can’t compare it to brands that don’t have that resource. They’re not in the same bracket.”

Ultimately, the thing we want from celebrity brands is the same thing we want from non-celebrity brands: products that stand up on their own at the right price point, an authentic story or mission and, if visible, a founder who makes sense to us. When any of these pillars is missing, the structure feels disingenuous — and who wants to feel like they’re being duped?

*Name changed to protect anonymity

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“What in the Black Mirror am I looking at?” snorted a friend when I showed her Reem Bot for the first time. Reem is an influencer and journalist created by artificial intelligence and powered by online lifestyle magazine SheerLuxe, and she was launched to a flurry of angered reviews.

I didn’t know how to respond to my friend because I wasn’t actually sure, and I didn’t know how I felt about it, or why. The rise of AI influencers as a whole — from Reem to Kenza Layli, who was just crowned the first “Miss AI” in a virtual beauty pageant — makes me feel uncomfortable, but not for the reasons you might think.

Along with the rest of my generation, I am no stranger to change and technological advances. Our whole lives have been shaped by it. My generation remembers chunky desktop computers but we also remember CDs, iPods, Nokias, Instagram’s birth and exactly when it became “normal” to have access to the internet in our pockets. We weren’t iPad kids but we are digital natives.

Why, then, do AI influencers make me feel so uneasy? Surely they’re just par for the course? Yet another notch in our digital belts? 

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To truly understand, I need to give you some context. I am a proud woman of color. My mom’s side of the family hails from India and my dad’s side comes from Zimbabwe. 23andMe says I’m part Persian, and I grew up flicking between the United Kingdom and the United Arab Emirates. I love that I come from such beautiful and varied cultures but loving the way I look as a result of this rich history has not been easy. I grew up hiding my features and wishing I could change them: If only my huge South Asian nose were smaller! If only I could be less hairy! Why are my under-eye circles so dark?

I have this really vivid memory of locking myself in a bathroom and sobbing because I didn’t look like a girl from school called Suzie. She was blonde and blue-eyed, with perfect skin and a cute button nose. Her golden arm hair sparkled in the sun. All the boys fancied her. The same boys laughed at my monobrow and “mustache”. They called me a witch because my eyes are such a deep brown that they almost look black.

By my late teens, I’d dyed my hair blonde and experimented with green contacts. Many of my friends did the same. Looking back, I wonder if this was a subconscious effort to look more racially ambiguous. Nothing pleased me more than someone asking if I was Italian, and nothing annoyed me more than someone asking where in India I was from. (“How dare they assume where I’m from? I’m from Leicester.”)

Growing up as a person of color in a Eurocentric world wasn’t easy. I wanted to shed my brownness because, ultimately, I felt like my brownness was undesirable. So imagine my unease when I saw Reem for the first time: a woman with an Arabic name, gorgeous dark hair and heavy brows…except she’s also got a teeny-tiny, Westernized nose and sparkling green eyes. Not the dark eyes that are most common in the Middle East.

SheerLuxe has not confirmed Reem’s ethnicity but many of the brand’s followers have assumed she’s an Arab thanks to her name. Suppose she is an Arab woman in a world where Arabs are so vilified and whiteness so glorified — has she been edited into something more palatable for the masses? Are we, as people of color, so disgusting and ugly that we need to be altered? As a Muslim, this thought cuts me deeply, especially amid such a contentious political landscape. As I write, far-right protests are taking place up and down the UK with an anti-immigrant and anti-Muslim rhetoric. Are we so offensive that we can’t be depicted accurately even in an artificial world?

Reem is not the only AI influencer to have stirred up these feelings. Kenza is a “Moroccan Muslim” AI influencer and yet she’s so fair that if it wasn’t for her attire, you’d be forgiven for thinking she was European. She reminded me, again, that beauty ideals for people of color are nigh on impossible to meet, and we’re still being compared to fair-skinned, Westernized ideals. It’s no wonder that the global skin whitening market is expected to reach a worth of $11.8 billion by 2026. As a person who has spent a lot of their life wishing they were white, this erasure of POC features in AI is deeply concerning and it takes me back to a problematic time that I thought I’d left behind. Yes, AI might be the future but are we moving forward in technology only to move backward in terms of ethics and diversity? In my opinion, these Westernized AI influencers of color mark a big step backward in the name of innovation — all under the guise of diversity in what feels like a performative, box-ticking exercise. 

Even in a made-up, artificial world, unattainable standards are being forced onto women of color the most. We can never live up to something that simply doesn’t exist. People of color have their own beautiful attributes. We have dark shadows beneath our eyes and we’re prone to hyperpigmentation. We need to fight for this beauty to be seen within pop culture, not erased with AI. 

After seeing these influencers infiltrate my feed, I find myself looking in the mirror with similar feelings to the ones I had when I was 13 years old and comparing myself to Suzie. Perhaps I could just tweak my nose a little. How much does a nose job cost, anyway?

As it happens, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Dr. Jonny Betteridge, aesthetics doctor and trainer at JB Aesthetics, says this is something he’s been seeing on social media for a while. He tells me that clients often approach him with pictures of filtered celebrities or influencers in tow, hoping he can tweak their appearance to resemble something that doesn’t exist in the real world. “The rise of social media and filters has dramatically altered public perception of beauty standards. These platforms promote a very polished, often unattainable beauty ideal that emphasises flawlessness and symmetry,” he says. That’s not all; he worries that AI will intensify these trends, creating even more unrealistic looks that are hard to replicate. “As AI becomes better at simulating human features in a seemingly perfect manner, it could encourage a homogenised beauty standard,” he explains.

This can be particularly damaging for women of color who don’t fit into what Dr. Betteridge calls “a very narrow” ideal. He also notes that this diminishing of diverse beauty can make individuals feel that they aren’t valued or beautiful. This, he says, “can lead to cultural erasure” and a lack of appreciation for the rich diversity of such beauty. “I am also worried about the rise in facial dysmorphia,” he says, explaining that as the gap widens between real human features and idealized, digital representations, people are more likely to perceive minor or nonexistent “flaws” in their appearance as severe.

Keen to know how all of this is translating to real people, I reached out to a handful of women of color for their opinions. “I think AI and AI filters do different kinds of damage to different ethnicities,” says Anya*, 27, who lives in the United Arab Emirates. “For example, in Arab countries the most popular AI filters change your eye color.” She goes on to say that this is why colored contact lenses are so popular among her friends. “These ideals make you feel like your makeup isn’t complete without colored contacts. It’s a new norm; contacts make your eyes look bigger as well — just like filters do.”

Fifty-year-old Sheena* from the UK admits that she never posts pictures of herself without the help of AI filters. “I feel embarrassed, old and ugly when I see a real picture of myself in comparison to one with an AI filter on it. It’s what I wished I looked like, and I’ve definitely enquired about surgical procedures to help me get there. The only thing stopping me is the expense.”  

For some, constantly consuming AI-generated content has led to more permanent decisions. Jen*, 31, says Snapchat and Instagram filters made it all too easy to consider surgery on her nose. “When I started to get negative comments about my large Greek Cypriot nose in my early 20s, I suddenly wanted the ‘new’, filtered face that was staring back at me through my phone screen.” Jen says this pressure is what led to not one but two nose jobs, and she sometimes feels sad about why she had them done. “I was impressionable and AI got into my head. I paid £5k, too: a huge expense for someone in their early 20s.”

I let AI filters and their ideals get to me, too, opting for nose filler despite the known risks (skin necrosis, cysts, infections and potentially even blindness). I’m gutted to admit it but it’s really helped me to accept myself more, and I hate that I’m conforming to such a problematic culture of Western uniformity.

With this in mind, I reached out to the team behind SheerLuxe and asked whether they think Reem is perpetuating unrealistic beauty ideals for women of color. I wanted to know what they’re putting in place to stop AI impacting their audience in a negative way. I received no response. When I reached out to Ama Badu (the voice behind the AI model Shudu) for her opinion on the same topic, she said: “Any unrealistic beauty ideals we see in them [AI models] have been created long before their existence. The unfortunate reality of our world is that these beauty standards and ideals are pushed at us constantly, especially as women and even more so as women of color.”

While I concur, I don’t think this is an excuse to perpetuate harmful ideals. Rather, we should use the rise of AI influencers, models and mascots as an opportunity to challenge the status quo. Badu agrees, noting that this is what makes the virtual space so exciting. 

“We have an opportunity to recreate a world that better aligns with us; where inclusivity and diversity are actualized,” she says. She also claims that a lot of the “fear” surrounding AI is linked to our reluctance to replicate our world online — flaws and all. The idea of creating a seemingly perfect world that’s still entrenched in racism and a lack of inclusivity is scary. It’s not all about aesthetics, though. According to a 2021 report by PR agency MSL, there’s an “influencer pay gap” of 35% between creators of color and their white peers, which shows how tough it is for minorities to be heard and treated as equals.

Unsurprisingly, people are worried that AI influencers of color may take opportunities away from real minorities. It’s little wonder that the launch of AI influencer and “editor” Reem sparked similar concerns. “Research tells us that women of color are almost completely locked out of the UK news industry, making them effectively invisible,” explains Perdita Nouril, beauty editor at Women’s Health UK. “When living, breathing women of color find it harder than their white counterparts to jump onto the journalist ladder, opting to create fake women of color reinforces that glass ceiling.” AI perpetuates unrealistic beauty standards that undo all the hard work that has been done to broaden definitions of beauty in recent years, adds Nouril.

So why do AI influencers exist at all? Well, there are some clear advantages for businesses. They’re scalable, cost-efficient and can be in more than one place at once. They’re also completely controllable: Businesses don’t have to worry about an AI figure’s personal thoughts, feelings and opinions clashing with the business’ values. While it’s easy to see the appeal here, this screams dystopia to me. Our thoughts and feelings are what make us human. Turning to AI is a scary way to control what users see and, at worst, a thinly veiled attempt to control people of color, or how we’re perceived. Making a more “palatable” version of us means we can’t be described as “hysterical” or “aggressive”, words that have been used historically to undermine women and Black people with opinions.

As AI advances and becomes more mainstream, we will continue to encounter both the scary and the exciting. We, as humans, won’t always get it right but that’s why it’s so important to talk about it and challenge things we don’t agree with so that we can do better in the future. Dr. Betteridge says it’s “crucial” for creators and users of AI technology to be mindful of its negative effects as we move forward. He says we need to strive for a more inclusive understanding of beauty that respects and celebrates our differences, in both the real and digital worlds. Badu notes the importance of employing diverse teams to run AI projects now and in the future, and says that AI should always be obvious to spot. I think we need better regulations. Just as we have rules surrounding advertisements and influencers on social media (like adding #AD or #gifted to posts), we need to call for clear rules and signs to go alongside AI-generated content. 

Perhaps the answer is simply to say no to AI when it doesn’t align with our values. This is exactly what Dove did in its campaign “The Code”, which launched in April. The brand has pledged never to use AI in any of its communications. “We will not stop until beauty is a source of happiness, not anxiety, for every woman and girl,” reads a statement on the brand’s website.

I love Dove’s stance here but to hope all beauty brands could adopt this approach would be naive. Realistically, there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to the future of AI in beauty but I hope everyone moves forward cautiously, holding each other accountable with the wise words of Joy Buolamwini’s book, Unmasking AI, ringing in their ears: “The option to say no, the option to halt a project, the option to admit to the creation of dangerous and harmful though well-intentioned tools must always be on the table.”

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Until recently, tropes to depict Latinas were exclusively reserved for film and scripted television. But if you’ve seen season six of Love Island USA, you might have recognized the spicy Latina — a fiery, loud, hypersexualized woman of Latin American descent — in colombiana y cubana Andrea Carmona and a bit of it in puertorriqueña Daniela Ortiz. In case you haven’t watched: Carmona came in ready to “steal” Aaron from Kaylor, and instead ended up “stealing” Aaron’s best friend Rob from Leah. Ortiz, on the other hand, set her sights on Aaron and kissed him during Casa Amor. Then also ended up with Rob before being voted out of the villa.

As I watched the season, I wanted to like Carmona and Ortiz so badly. I wanted to see myself and my homegirls in them, to celebrate them as fellow Latinas on a show that isn’t exactly known for its racial and ethnic inclusivity — but instead I saw a trope that I’m all too familiar with, and honestly quite tired of.

To be sure, casting, production, editors, and the participants themselves all heavily relied on the spicy Latina trope. As such, Carmona and Ortiz seemed like caricatures, one-dimensional mamacitas who were just there to steal men from other women.

Historically, writers and producers have resorted to a handful of tropes to “represent” Latinas. There’s the maid, as you can see with Jennifer Lopez’s titular character in Maid in Manhattan. Or you might be familiar with the perfect Catholic virgin, exemplified by Gina Rodriguez in the telenovela-like drama Jane the Virgin. Out of the half-dozen tropes, though, the most common is the spicy Latina — think Gloria Prichett from Modern Family or Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives.

Producers rely on this trope to appease Anglo audiences, particularly white men. “​​Often depicted in comedies or musicals as the love interest to the white male lead, the spicy Latina or spitfire trope, which ultimately stereotypes and flattens out sexual and racial diversity for Latinas, is seen as a familiar and safe representation for Anglo audiences,” says Isabel Molina-­Guzmán Ph.D., professor of communication and Latina/Latino studies at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.

It also saves producers the work of creating a novel, complex character who experiences levels of growth and development. And this, obviously, is to the detriment of Latinas — participants and viewers alike.

It’s important to note that cast members are not characters, per se; they are real people with real lives and real emotions. Once the show is over, they’ll continue to exist. However, reality TV itself … is not actually real. It’s heavily scripted and edited, meaning that casting agents, editors, and producers are largely to blame for employing this trope.

“If you look at reality television, there are always tropes,” says Dr. Molina-Guzmán. As a reality TV fan of more than 20 years, I know there’s usually an asshole, a backstabber, an emotionally unstable firecracker, and a morally righteous character who just happens to be there. “They look for that in how they cast the show, but also in how they edit it,” Dr. Molina-Guzmán adds. “They can edit an interaction between two people in a reality show to make one of them look like an angel and the other one look like a totally horrible, mean person.” (Justice for Leah!!! Iykyk.)

What’s worse is that if you’re a Latina, it’s all but given that production and editing will use a trope to paint your portrait. You’ll be the maid, the virgin, or — in Carmona and Ortiz’s case — the spicy Latina. “The spitfire Latina trope is the perception that Latinas are hot-tempered, threatening, dangerous, over-the-top, and hypersexualized,” says Yessica Garcia Hernandez, Ph.D., an assistant professor of Chicana/o and Central American studies at UCLA. 

More often than not, the casting calls themselves have verbiage that alludes to this trope. (“Are you an out-spoken Latina who speaks with a fiery passion? Love Island wants you!”) Herein lies the overlap between fully scripted content and reality TV. Just like you would need an actress to be willing to play a spitfire Latina, you’d need a real-world Latina who is comfortable playing that role. 

“[Refuting the trope] is trickier in reality TV, especially when you talk about the participants and their complicity,” says filmmaker and UCLA professor of theater, film, and television Kristy Guevara-Flanagan, Ph.D. “I’m assuming it’s [subconscious] to a big extent, but that still perpetuates the stereotypes.”

Cue Carmona and Ortiz, who both referred to themselves as spicy or fiery. “People realize that if they play into these archetypes, they get more screen time,” adds Dr. Guevara-Flanagan. “That’s what [casting and production are] looking for — that conflict and drama — so they put people up against each other, and the participants fall into the trap of playing up those archetypes.”

And while this obviously perpetuates a one-dimensional caricature of Latinas as overly emotional and sexually attractive, maybe we shouldn’t place most of the blame on participants. “There is power when Latinas self-proclaim as ‘spicy’ or intentionally decide to perform the temptress role,” says Dr. Garcia Hernandez. “It is our role as viewers and critics to provide the space and language to understand this decision.” 

For instance, Carmona and Ortiz could’ve consciously embodied the spitfire Latina as a strategic tactic to ensure that they stayed on the show — because, make no mistake, this is the lens that Anglo people use to observe and “understand” us. And because producers know this, they’ll make sure to edit “so that [viewers see Latinas] in familiar ways,” says Dr. Molina-Guzmán.

According to the experts, this trope’s harm is twofold. First, it doesn’t allow our non-Latine counterparts to see us as the complex individuals that we are. We’re reduced to these stereotypes, which puts the burden of proof on us. We have to prove that we’re more than a servant, martyr mother, struggling immigrant, or spicy Latina. Secondly, it might make us feel like we have to police our behavior. “You don’t want to be seen as that stereotype, and so you might not raise your voice to speak your mind, which is critical in any positions in the workspace or the educational space,” says Dr. Guevara-Flannigan.

And, for the record, no Latina is exempt from this. “I always dressed like a nun [when I taught classes] because I didn’t want to be read as that stereotype,” says Dr. Molina-Guzmán. “I don’t do it anymore, but it took me a while to feel comfortable enough to be myself — to wear makeup, jewelry, and clothing that wasn’t baggy.” 

Carmona and Ortiz — who were both with Anglo men — might’ve referred to themselves as “spicy,” but let’s just say: this is not how most Latine people refer to each other. “[Creators of Spanish-language reality TV don’t often] use the spicy Latina trope to describe those characters,” says Dr. Garcia Hernandez. “This tells us that the spicy Latina characters are constructed by the fantasies of the white gaze.” 

It would’ve been great to see the other sides of these women — being there for the girls, helping them do their hair, gossipping, and drinking cafecito con pan or queso. As a viewer, I would have loved for them to do the things I do, but production didn’t give us that chance. 

No problems are solved overnight. At best, we can hope that casting agents, editors, and producers start to see and depict Latinas as the multi-dimensional humans that we are. That way, the participants they call don’t feel obligated to walk the tight trope (pun intended). At worst, we’ll have to rebuke these false portrayals and remind ourselves that we are so much more complex than these stereotypes. The good news is the latter won’t be difficult considering we’ve been doing it all our lives.

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If imitation is the highest form of flattery, then Yuri Lamasbella is an undisputed queen of adulation. 

Reality TV enthusiasts and chronic social media scrollers are likely to instantly recognize the face and voice of the super-viral Mexican-American content creator, who pokes fun at the absurdity of reality television in a light-hearted, hilariously accurate manner. 

Lamasbella’s unique comedic approach has garnered millions of followers, brand partnerships, and the attention of one of the most publicized families in the world. 

But that’s not where her story begins. 

“I was always told I sounded like a ‘Valley Girl’ growing up when I was in high school and college,” Lamasbella tells Refinery29 Somos. “Growing up, I saw how differently our culture was treated. And so I always thought I have to speak so ‘proper’ on the phone that nobody can guess my race.”

Born and raised in Tampa, FL, to Mexican parents, Lamasbella, 32, recounts how she observed the barriers that immigrants often experience when navigating a new life across countries and cultures.  

“I remember always thinking my voice needed to sound so perfect just so I didn’t face those barriers, because I did see my parents being treated differently because of their race or because they didn’t know the language,” she shares. “I saw my parents go through that a lot too, with my grandparents, reading their letters, taking them to doctors and translating, stuff like that. Those are things I always carry with me.”

Lamasbella attended the University of South Florida, earning her bachelor’s degree in business management. She began creating content in 2017, focusing on her passion. 

“It was solely on YouTube — beauty reviews with makeup brands — that’s really where I wanted to launch my content creator platform,” she recalls. “And back in 2017 when I was trying to be a beauty influencer, it was a really saturated market. Everybody wanted to do that.” 

Though she gained some traction, it wasn’t enough to launch a full-time career. She ended up in a more traditional office job to pay the bills. It didn’t go well.

“When Covid-19 happened, I was working in HR as an orientation/onboarding specialist, and the corporate life just wasn’t for me,” she says, explaining that she quit after a few months. “I took a part-time job, so I could focus on making content and, of course, TikTok was a huge platform to be on at the time.” 

Social media and tech experts were championing the rapid-fire rate at which people were building their TikTok followings. Lamasbella was busy taking notes.

“I was listening to a lot of Gary Vee and he would always say, ‘For the most organic growth, you want to get on TikTok and LinkedIn,’” she says. “So I was like, ‘Okay, why not?’ I had heard it enough, so just do it.” 

That was November 2020. As is so often the case with online virality, Lamasbella stumbled upon her niche organically. She had been an avid reality TV viewer for years, sometimes even juggling multiple shows at once. 

“I remember when I was pregnant, I had seven shows just back to back that I was watching,” she says. “I would watch a lot of MTV, Jersey Shore, The Challenge, Real Housewives. Reality TV is my guilty pleasure — I love it.”

But there was one reality TV show — specifically, one reality TV family — that resonated with Lamasbella the most.

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A post shared by Yuri Lamasbella (@yurilamasbella)

“I’ve watched the Kardashians’ show since I’ve known about it,” she says. “I’ve always loved them, watched every single episode, but didn’t know I could embody them in the way that I do in my parodies.” 

That turned out to be yet another organic discovery. 

While attending a party, a friend remarked that the way Lamasbella spoke reminded them of the famous family and encouraged her to do an impersonation — right there, on the spot. “And that was the first time I had ever tried to do an impression of Kim Kardashian,” she recalls. 

A few months later, she struck viral gold. “March 2021 is when I made my first Kardashian parody,” Lamasbella says. 

In the 54-second clip, she plays both Kourtney and Kim as they discuss — or, more accurately, not discuss — their pending summer vacation plans. 

“I had a small following before I started the parodies, and it was pretty comical content that went viral,” she says. “Then I took that approach, mixed the Kardashians in, and here we are today.”

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A post shared by Yuri Lamasbella (@yurilamasbella)

Eventually, the Kardashians themselves took notice. Khloé Kardashian commented on a recent post from Lamasbella in which the content creator was ranting about her growing breast size during her current pregnancy. 

“Congratulations on your pregnancy babe!!!!!!” Khloé, 40, wrote. 

Lamasbella has built social media acclaim with her spot-on impressions of the Kardashian crew. However, she’s really interested in using her content to spoof not just them, but the entire over-the-top genre she loves so much.

“I find the way they edit and script the show very comical,” she says. “It’s not just the Kardashians; it’s any reality TV show with the dramatic pauses and the overly dramatic situations. That’s what I try to portray in my comedic skits, that’s what I think is captivating — the background music, the way they cut to the scenes.” 

Others clearly find it captivating as well. To date, Lamasbella has 4.7 million followers on TikTok and 3 million followers on Instagram. She just signed with CAA and was a panelist at the 2024 Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity, one of the largest advertising and communications events in the world.

Did she ever think a knack for “Valley Girl” impressions and a reality TV show obsession would lead to all this fanfare and recognition? 

“Absolutely not,” she says. “I get really nice messages from people saying they were in dark places and my content helped them get up in the morning, or it was their only laugh that day. And those things get me really emotional — that’s a reaction I never thought I would’ve gotten.”

Besides being a soothing source of comic relief for her followers, Lamasbella is also hoping to put a spotlight on just how much Mexican Americans have to offer in the entertainment industry and beyond.

“I want people to see that our culture will do whatever it takes,” she says. “We’re very smart. We’re very strategic. I want to bring that [representation] to the limelight and be a part of that.”

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